Don't judge me.

I always tell friends that their love is stronger than the distance between them. I'd never thought that I may very well be a victim of my own words. It's only when you're made to deal with issues face to face, you'll feel the pain, the frustration and the agony. 

I'll never survive a long distance relationship, and I know it. Which scares me because Jack has been setting his eyes on University of Bristol, in UK. And if I'm fortunate enough to go over to Queensland, I'm gonna be even further away, not like the difference matters. I'm scared because we're gonna spend so much time apart, I'm scared because I depend on Jack more than I think I know.

I have until 21st August to know if I'm still going to University of Queensland, and I have more than a year to know Jack's decision about Bristol. I'm not gonna be selfish and breakdown in front of him, but it's gonna be really painful, and I'm gonna suck it up.

My life is frustrating.

LIM XINYA
MEET ME ASAP.

szekaryin

AND THERE IS ALWAYS THESE FEW PEOPLE WHO COME TO MY BLOG BY GOOGLING MY CHINESE NAME! HOW WEIRD IS THAT?

Jack POPs next Saturday! (:

I like the last picture of Jack, it's such an epic moment. He was wearing his cap backwards and trying on my blue shades, and he totally look like some kiddo trying to be cool. As usual, epic moments are never caught on film most of the time. I'll take what I can get, so I like this picture. K, I'm blabbering, why are you reading my blabbers? (I typed bla-d-d then I deleted it, if you get what I mean, LAUGH NOW, hahahahahahaha.)

An Epiphany.

Don't stop believing.

16 hours to book out.

Have you ever had a crush on somebody, and that somebody waited five years to try and be your friend? Damn right, everyone seems normal until you get to know them. To be fair, he's not weird but it's just I don't know what is he trying to do and I couldn't care so much anymore. And then there's this other stalker, just to be sure, I've hated him as far as I can remember. And he's pissing me off ttm.

On a lighter note, this flower is so pretty. I can't recall it's name, but it's so pretty. I'd stay on that field for hours doing what that girl in the picture is doing. How come there's nothing this pretty in Singapore.

I can't wait to tell Tan about Club Med Bintan! I can't wait to go there with Tan! I wish Sunday would come sooner.

RANT

Why do NS men have to do guard duty? It's not like someone will sneak in and bomb the place, or any Swiss national is going to sneak in and doodle graffiti all over the machine guns and tanks or whatever they have in Tekong.

It sucks to see Jon Chua and Jialong online because they've booked out and Jack's in camp. I know it's not even related or making any sense but I'm just depressed and upset that my boyfriend is confined because he's guarding ghost town. (I'd delete ghost town but I've said it and it better not be ghost town because I didn't mean it literally, DAMN IT, word play sucks. Why am I doing this to myself?)

Jack's supposed to have like 4 book out days because he finished all the shit he has to do. And I'm so freaking sick, all I want is a hug. WHY IS THAT SO DAMN DIFFICULT? I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING SOMEONE'S FACE AND STABBING ANNOYING PEOPLE. I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AND CRYING BUT THAT WILL GIVE ME AN ENDLESS NIGHT OF BLOCKED AND OVERFLOWING NOSE. WHY IS MY STOMACH FEELING SO QUEASY ONLY NOW? (well it's not only now, it started when I was watching DDD but I ignored it.)

I JUST FEEL LIKE SCREAMING SOMETHING INTO SOMEONE'S STUPID FACE, I THINK THAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL A LOT BETTER. MY LIFE SUCKS, FMLFMLFML. KTHXBYE.

Life.

I carry your ♡ with me

(I carry it in my ♡)

I am never without it

(anywhere I go, you go, my dear)

-e.e cummings

buy buy buy.

I'm prolly gon get either one of these. More inclined to get the quilted one. I keep shopping online, my rings from F21 is not even here yet and I'm thinking of buying from ASOS. Why am I like that? Lol.

I have no dinner unless I want to move my butt downstairs to get some. Do I want to move my butt? Hmm... I don't really know.

I'm crazy sick but I just drank a cup of bandung, ate mini magnum and hershay's chocolate. 

kthxbye.

SMA

SIM

TMC

?

Further Studies.

So I've looked at SIM and I have two choices, full time at Buffalo or part time at RMIT.

I'm more inclined towards RMIT because I think it's better but it requires me to do it part time and I kinda loathe the idea of studying part time. Because that means I'd prolly have to get a job, and unless I find the job that relates to what I'm studying, I refuse to work. I refuse to work in a bank or on the sales floor or whatever shit jobs there is. And I would want to transfer over during my last year, and part time degree doesn't offer that.

Buffalo is good because it's full time, exactly what I'm looking for. And it allows me to transfer over during the last year, to NYC, which is kinda far and foreign and scary. Buffalo isn't as good, in my opinion and Jack's too. Jack said that NewCastle is better than Buffalo which means RMIT is way better than Buffalo. And Buffalo is expensive, compared to doing part time at SIM with RMIT.

I don't know, it's a tough break. Jack and I have more or less talked about what happens if we do part time degrees, and I'm kinda looking forward to that if it really happens. And doing my last year in the university makes my degree more recognized, right? Omg, I need help.

Reality.

It just occurred to me that it's halfway through 2010, I've hereby wasted half a year bumming around.

Hello, I threw a crazy fit yesterday because I suck.

And Jack was patient and understanding and remorseful,

and I love him for that.

HI BOYFRIEND, I LOVE YOU.

And I think it's funny how others expect you to get gifts for them when they've never gotten you anything from trips and worst still, we're not even close. Wishful thinking people, wishful thinking.

Back home.

Hello, I'm back. I don't know if I'm glad or what but I'm back. I really miss Jack, and my trip has been so tiring. This trip made me realise that holidays abroad suck without Jack with me. I haven't shopped enough and I don't think I'm going on any more trips like these, unless Jack is with me. I miss Jack, freaking much. ):

Jack passed his IPPT, which means he can book out on fridays now! Now I'm the only fat one. ):

9th June 2010

• It's my birthday, I'm turning 21.
• Jack's phone got confiscated, again.
• He tried to wait up to wish me Happy Birthday.
• I only get to talk to boyfriend for 3 mins on my birthday.
• I won't get to text Boyfriend until I get back from HongKong.

• I think I'm gonna curl up and cry now, no, really.

I need one of these.

I'll be looking for one of these when I'm in HongKong, let me know if you want one too!

The above are with zippers, and double sided.

I'd prefer this wayyy more. I'd make one just for myself if I could. It's USD$50+ on Amazon.com