and i thought i was done with crying alone. i could call enqi and cry to her all night, but it's so different now. she'd prolly think im such a bother, bothering her all the time for mistakes i made. i read your blog qi, and i teared. im sorry, but sorry dont mean much. as much as i want us together shopping and all, we never did met up. i owe you a drink, i'll meet you up really soon okay. once im done with my exams, i promise this time.

so i thought i found someone who could decode me. but i let him go. and now, who can make sense of my aching heart? who can make sense of my life? who can make sense of me? who can make sense of my words, my silly words? i dont even understand, how can anyone else be able to?

dammit, liquid's coming out everywhere. my eyes, my nose and my virgina. im gonna die.

you dont know how much it hurts. i dont wanna be just friends, but i love you too much to stay by you. this is honestly a redundant entry. i dont wanna be just friends.

im tired of being the one always making decision, im tired of being the one always making things happen. i love you, but im not gonna make things happen. im just a girl, a girl who's silly and crazy.

all sugary and sweet

I love the child in him,
so innocent and sweet.
The mischief in his eyes,
the blush upon his cheek.
The tender way he speaks,
that show me that he cares.
The touch of his warm hand,
that gently brushes my hair.
The smiles that we share,
that fills my life with glee.
For when I am with him,
I found the child in me.

all these while, all these 304 days. i thank you, babyy.
for moments when you touched my heart, i smiled.
for days when you stood by my side, i smiled.
for minutes when i leaned on you, i smiled.
all i do is to smile, but babyy, this smile means alot of appreciation and love. ((:
with so much love, i stand by you. <33s

<3

Truly, madly, deeply. <33

oh baby ):

i guess i really am feeling a little sad, not for me but for you silly. it'd be hard on you, cos it aint easy babyy. sighs.

/edited.
i dont like things to change, i dont want things to change. i feel languished, really really drear. like, it's daunting me. travails make me lose hope, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

oh whatever, im talking no sense now. bahbye.



im just worried, and scared and upset. i dont like, but im not gonna restrict; cos you're a sensible boy, babyy (:

weird...

its raining cows and elephants...

love, nicole.

boys and girls

Boyfriends will never anticipate how Girlfriends never mean what they say sometimes. and Boyfriends just take it is, and leave Girlfriends sad and mad. oh whatever.

i dont know what i mean either, go figure. =/

shhh..

TOP SECRET

(:

i'm alive and very much happy still.

The Many Eventful Days

What a picture to start off an entry =X


Jack was trying to be in the Lime Light.


Oh So Cheesy


HAHA, S*cker!


Mmm mm!


honestly, he doesn't know what was on his back


and to think he was still so happy


The Mesmerising nights


LMAO, So FAT.


LMAO, so RETARDED


Jack cant open his SMALL eyes


He Claims that the sun is TOO glaring


So that explains all his squirmy eyes in all the pictures


So Pretty, like a Paradise

These pictures are a lil late, but as always, better late than never! :)

Okay, so i went to grandma's today and merely did some math questions, with Jack of course. and dame, i didn't bao any bak zhang this year. haahaha! oh wells, i did eat though =D it has been such an eventful holiday, it passed so fast. i only am left with one week, to start revising. fuck lah, gotta get that adrenaline pumping real fast to catch up.

okay, gonna go sleep.
bahbye =))

hmm..

We're going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo.

honestly i got lots more pictures, but my fat hands can only do so much. HAHAHA. =D

dumpling wrapping tmr! MORE food! woots (:

Relieve the Good Ole' Days.

it's really when you grow up, and make sense of everything that you'll realise who's been good to you and who' not. it's only when you lose things that you'll start to appreciate and reminise all the good ole days. it's only when there's really nothing to be done, that you'll wanna remake the past. it's only when best friends part, that you'll realise how difficult it is to accept the fact that we've drifted so far apart.

honestly, despite me making fun of enqi and all her embarassments, ge so angry at all the silly things she does, ranting at her like she's my ranting machine, i miss her hella big loads. like best friends do. we've not been catching up, or chats on phones. even shopping or even just meet up. it's been months since i last saw her, all i know is what she tells me. and enqi doesnt tell anyone everything, we've been friends for so long, surely i'd know there's so much more to what she shared. and there's really nothing i can do, i can only trust and when everything fails for her, i trust she'll fall back on me. but, this trust isnt really stable now, she doesnt rant, nor does she complain or even tell me anything.

i feel really sad, when i see all other girlfriends meet up and catch up, shop and bitch together about everything. i was just wondering why arent i doing the same with fen and qi. then i asked myslf why, i couldnt get an answer, all i felt like doing was to tear.

as much as i hate wearing fugly uniforms and all the dumb homeworks back in secondary school, it has always been these two pals who's walked thru thick and thin with me. we fall out, and we patched things up. we bitch and we laugh. and if anything goes wrong, we know it's okay to fall on each other. days just arent the same anymore, we hardly have the time to even get a breather, much less catching up.

and if friends are only for a period of time in our lives, then why do we care so much, to even get so angry at all the many silly things that they do?

sighs, maybe it's just me. =/
_________________________

on the lighter note, i've been spending too much money these few days. so much, that even Nicole realised it. but hell yeah, i cannot deny that it has been so much fun with Babyy. ZOO tomorrow! (: yay, with Joelle and Babyy.

got lotsa pictures waiting to be uploaded. shall get all the pictures up someday, when my fat hands feel active enough. dame, i really feel so fat. my tummy, my thighs, my arms. omsucklingpiglet, my whole self is F**. (it feels like a taboo now, the word F**, damn it.) i've been eating quite a lot, but tell me how can anyone resist food eh? all i do when i go out with Jack is to eat, eat and more eat. crappys.

so, i've made up my mind and i keep telling myself that i'll really honestly genuinely sit down and start the long awaited revisions. next week. yes. no doubt about that, i really needa get my ass into the Us and get a decent enough job so i'll have enough dollar bills to stuff it into the faces of those who despise us now. not forgetting my few DB9s in the garage and all. oh, maybe some spare bills to wipe my ass after shitting. yeah, whatever.

i like bubbles (:

Babyy's treat at Marche today


he's a fat glutton, honest.





look, non-stop.





Jack's Main Course




and it taste ultra nice.


my Main course.





and it taste like shit, so i did something else with it. =X


i was so bloated i could puke.


and we took pictures,


and more pictures,


and more pictures.


and then we went to the arcade, jack and i played the shooting thingy.


i could take picture of Jack was cos i died like so fast. )(*&^%$#@! the game cheat money.

okays, Sentosa tomorrow, tanning! =D
and then Friday, Zoo with babyy and joelle :)
oh, and then and then, Sunday, grandma's with babyy again =)
not to forget, Dunkin' Donuts on Sundy too! =))

Nicole is a very happy girl ((:

birthday.

PhotoFinish=)

ECP with Sugar(:

Self-Portrait(:

Jack's looking at his own camera, which means im not looking at his camera cos im looking at my camera. LOL.

So Pretty(:

We went Blading =)

&had our walk in the park.

SENTOSA with Sugar.

Express train to the Isle.

Jack's being childish. HAHA.

This is Jack, and he looks short. =X

to the grandma's.

Sun, Sea, Sand and Sugar(: