TMD

EMO-ISTIC

and just suddenly,


[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
and i saw your blog

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
..!.. to u LOL

nniiccooooLe-* i take it like a man says:
but i thought you saw my blog long ago?
and i didnt update please.
and i thought you yest already say me.
that i copy you. use spare me the agony.
-.-
SHOOT YOU LAR. anyhow ..!.. me.
grrr

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
oh i did arh?!
LOL

nniiccooooLe-* i take it like a man says:
WTFish
-.-
walau. then anyhow point finger.
NOW I FEEL HURT.

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
LOL
SORRY LAR

nniiccooooLe-* i take it like a man says:
)):

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
-.-
k la i keep my finger
take it back

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
-.-
k la k la
i treat u fondue la

nniiccooooLe-* says:
=DDDDDDDDDDDD


THEN I SHALL SAY THANKS IN ADVANCE. =D

sighs. its okay. i cant really be bothered anymore lar. do as you please. =/ but, i suppose didnt see me isnt really the best excuse. you can do better.

i'll take it like a man. and i know i can.

anyway, have i ever told you i love janessa? muahahahas. cos she takes pretty pictures of me. heh heh. =D wanna see the pics? LMAO. visit her bloggie. i linked. <3

and.
i managed to wake up today.
despite the fact that i slept at 3.
heh heh heh,
im so proud of myself. =D

subra's super nice lar.
he accompanied me wait for mummy.
thank you! ((:

AND and and and, whatever jack and sam's gonna post on their blogs IS NOT TRUE. i repeat. NOT true. LMAO.

nicole is falling sick. sighs. coughs and blocked nose. mucus and wheezing. mummy says my asthma is coming back. ask me not to drink cold water. but, NO COLD WATER? no shit. dont kid me please. i cant do without cold water. i suppose a lil wont hurt. =D nvm, people, if you see me and cold water. remind me will you. HAHA.

ENQI do something. NO NO NO. that's a sin. HAHA. save me please. and, your letter is RETARDED.

BUT my mind revolves only around him. and then i'll start to emo-nise. i know i should move on. but, i dont know what's stopping me. maybe the fact that we've been through alot together. maybe me and him just cannot be friends. for a start, we didnt start off as friends at all.

i got no rights to be emo. not at all. because i realise i got so many AMAZING friends. and i mean it. i shouldnt even cry alone. i'll take it like a man.

sides, i dont wanna be like some one we know. right MELMELMEL. HAHAHA. qoutes from subra: twenty four seven, three sixty five perpetually emo-nist.

i shall stop. =X



i mean it. do as you please.

im not emo.
im not angry nor sad.
but i cannot define what im feeling now.
urgh. just shoot me.

please.

OH PLEASE!

and when we're talking..


[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
was checking out

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
bike models

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
buy if i drive waste money on petrol only

nniiccooooLe-* Intriguing Thoughts says:
lol.
if you drive waste hospital bills only
LOL.

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
wtf

nniiccooooLe-* Intriguing Thoughts says:
heh heh

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
curse me seh

[ .LAOjaaaaCk. ] says:
later i die u sad arh
LOL

nniiccooooLe-* Intriguing Thoughts says:
yadayadayada




oh please. spare me the agony.


=D

mad day

man. look at my blueblacks. =/


mandy looks PREGNANT. yi lei?!


lol. jack says this is emo. no. i dont think so. HAHA.


this is super unglam. HAHA. mandy's creation.


JACK's pad. HAHAHA.


damn handsome. HA HA. (fashion disaster)


samantha. HAHA. i was damn bored.


this was yesterday. fondue @ holland's coffee club


im supertried.
today is really dumb. had X-country at macritchie super lame. X-country is super redundant. -.-

after X-country, went clementi with HAZEL, MANDY, JACK and SAM for mac's breakfast. ooo. big breakfast. it's been a looong time. HAHAHA. mmhmm. LOLOL. and then MANDY started doing some WTH stuffs. lol. look damn real lar. damn disgusting. HAHA.

and then i came home. and fell asleep. HAHA. til now. hehehs. and im feeling hungry.


and my stomach grumbles.

today..

CRAMPS.blueblacks.muscle aches.sweat.tired body.brokenheart.

speak to me

speak to me

i find it hard not to think bout us. needless to say, not to talk to you. but, i doubt you'd agree.

OH MY VERY HOT 19 YEAR OLD SON.
guess what. i got BRUISES on my arm. hahaha. CYNTHIA CHU pinch people superduper hard. oh my fish. blueblack. HAHA. but damn hilarious lar. heh heh. it irst started out with me, cyn and jack. and then hafia joined us. and then marilyn and then mandy. and everyone had a chance to pinch. EXCEPT JACK. that loser. HAHA. okay. i shall not continue, cos he reads. HAHA. =D

CHINESE is superduper WTH. i H A T E chinese oh so much. rarrr!

argh. tmr got PE. and volley. confirm will wipe me out. like totally. bahhh

yadayada. i got history essay to rruusshhh. heh.

AND, it's been a VERY long time since i saw MELISSA NG. GREG NO BRAIN. and benjy. =/ boy, i missss them. God bless them. ((:

tomorrow's uncertainty

Tomorrow's uncertainty



now, isnt he cute?


but i think she's superwhooping cute.


anyways, today was kinda LONG..
LJH didnt turn up for our lesson. i think he'd prolly gave up on us. muahahahas. and then we cam whored the whole two periods. muahahas.


well, i.. err.. HA HA.


i dont know what i was doing.


eh. i ran out of pose. HAHA.


black and white. HOHO.


this isnt suppose to appear again. =/


what's JACK doing behind lar. damn SPOILER lar. muahahahas.


i seriously dont know what was she thinking.


damn sad. i only can do math without much studying. HOHO. wanna look at something? muahahahas.


JACK's math paper. muahahahas. let's just hope he skip this part and not happen to see this lar arh. muahahahas. damn style right. HAHA.


this is MY paper. HAHAHA. this is superdupertruckloads times better lar. TEEHEE.


since im talking bout jack. let me tell you something. HMMM*

JACK IS THE ULTIMATE MR NICE WTH. =D
JACK is damn nice. yes. he's super nice. althought he's most of the time undenialably WTH, he is still super nice. and he'll say all the nice nice things and comfort people, well me at least. BUT! this, is JACK when he decides to be superduperultramegawhooping nice. but if he dont want to be nice, he'll start fishing nic. -.-

but, i suspect its due to the superwhooping knock at the back of his head that he decides to be nice to me like ONLY for that day.

HA, kidding. XD

so much for JACk is nice. HA-HA-HA!

CHINESE TEACHERS ARE SUPER WTH. i just cant emphasize enough. i think that stupid teacher can go and die in her shit lar. wth lar. rarrr!!! i think she's jack's best friend. HAHA. and mandy's and cynthia's and sam's. muahahahas.

and oh, today. one of my superduper best friends' grandma passed away. =/ and i do respect her and look up to her alot. she's so strong, she held back her tears for over 5 hours until its time to go home. i think if it were me, i'd prolly cry and cry and weep and wail and want to go home like immediatly.

i pray that God will keep her strong and give her grandma peace. i pray that God will give her the strength and energy to study and cope with the sudden trauma. and i pray that she'll get over this grieve and carry on with life. amen.

pray for her okay people. ((:

today, i got so many people in my prayers.
jem subra. for strength and energy for work tonight.
hsianglin. for strength and energy.
charissa. for speedy recovery for her leg.
grampas. for superultra fast recovery after operation and for health.
myself. for strength, sleep, rest and a tenacious heart for study.
benjy. for forgiveness and everything that he needs.
amen.



it hurts me so much more than anything.
and i dare not ask for anything more.
just for you to speak to me again. )):

hiatus

im sorry

sometimes, things just NEVER go the way i want them to. i need that is why i yearn. i dont want you. i need you. need is the word. yupps. nuff said.

but then again, you never did treasure me do you? like what do you really do when im not around. HA. its amazing how hard i try. last night. he smsed me. i was half awake.

last night.
actually, the whole of yesterday and TODAY. my bones were breaking, my muscles were tearing. i felt like dying. even when i wear my shorts, my shirt, stand up, sit down, lie down, toss and turn in bed, climb up and down the stairs. i can feel the tension set upon my muscles. counterpain dont work for me anymore. OH MY BUTTERFLY STROKE SWIMMING COW. training was monstrous. and i cant believe there's two trainings next week. whose gonna save me? rarr. but hey, its sean. =DDD

flashback.
the whole of saturday was wasted away. i woke up at THREE. and lazed in bed til SIX. until i decided to go downstairs and buy dinner. HAHA. marilyn says im smart. smart way to diet. missed breakfast and lunch already. HAHA. i dont eat breakfast anyway. and i doubt i'll be determined enough to go down to buy lunch. HAHA. daddy took the laptop to malaysia. be back only today. not sure what time tho. sighs.

HOWEVER, i did ponder bout whether to study or not. and finally i came to realisation that ALL my stuffs are in the locker. HOHOHO. see, its not that nic dont wanna study, just that things never go her way. =D

saturdays are absolute bores. like what can one do on a saturday? i think i need a change in life. i've decided from next week onwards, im gonna attend saturday masses. and go for benjamin goh(yeah i decided) on sundays. afterall, i need my maths. BUT. i dont like to go for saturday masses. some STUPID elders will think that they are super smart and good they start critising ME. like HELLO, start with yourself first please. you're such a B*TCH yourself. *rolls my eye* then again, i dont have a choice. benjamin goh's only free on sundays and its 9-11. i wont be able to make it for 11am mass. and NOPE im not going for 7am, mass. thats suicidal. =D so i suppose half my life is laid down infront for me. =/

because i refuse to let go, i lost most of my friends. they just cannot be bothered anymore when im upset. all lien would say is, who else can make you so sad. all enqi might say is i never learn. all jack says is dont let the past affect me so much. trying NOT to love him is a chore. like its so tiring to cover the feelings. i.. am not afraid of crying alone. i loathe it doesnt mean im scared. but.. what im afraid of is not having him by my side. it just doesnt feel the same anymore.

like, i cant just be his friend. neither do i want him to only be my friend. but like i said, things never go my way. like its all out to spite me.

joey is retarded. she was so occupied with counting the number of times he turned and looked at me through out the mass. 42 times. and this 42 times, i dared not look at him. because for each time i look at him, i would blame myself. and it feels really rotten inside. its only when he's turned his back, i would steal a few glances. why must things end up this way. i totally suck. maybe if i had perished, things would turn out to be better. like im the root of all evil. i so hate myself. im just like outcast adam. i got nothing to say. urggh.

jack jack jack jack jack. this is all he can say. why im not surprised. i've never really loved him anyway. ((: *shrugs*


i know you're trying. but i need to hear them in the words i've been waiting for. songs lyrics are not what i wanna hear. my mind is just to tired for games. its just five words. five simple words. like the first time you asked. five simple words. five simple words for me to feel your sincerity. its not too much. its just what i need.

if your even reading.

im barely hanging on.

when i cry

What God joins together man must not separate.

this sentence kinda reminds me of.. stuffs.

ANYWAY.
today got back like most of the papers.
like finally lah.
but quite saddening lah.
got back erms..
Othello. got like 6/25
Lear. got like 9/25
Paper 1 Unseen. got like fail
Paper 5 Unseen. haven got back
Cold War. got like 17/50
SEA History. got like fail
Maths. got like 67.1/100
Econs. got like 41/100
yeah. HO HO.

and JACK pass every single thing lah.
well. cept MATHS, econs and lit.
like how cool lah.
like who would have expected.
muahahahahahas.
lets just pray that he doesnt read this. HOHO.

so nicole.. ehrms..
passed chinese and maths.


[ .jaaaaCk. ] said:
later u pass lit how

nniiccooooLe-* said:
6+6+9
lol.
21
wtH.

[ .jaaaaCk. ] said:
mdm za 1 u get 24 can liao

nniiccooooLe-* said:
i think the mdm za one at most only like sub pass olso please.
hahaha.
24 is like when the sky turns green

[ .jaaaaCk. ] said:
lololol


whatever please. laugh laugh laugh.
beware man. i might just get 24.
HOHOHO. =D
nada. kidding. HA.

nicole's going to study and mug and mug mug mug.
she said it like so many times.
yadayadayada.
*rolls my eye.
lols.

YADAYADA.

i remember this. sighs.
I, take you,
as my husband,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
till death us do part.

java

Dear God,

i pray that you will help the people in Java. i pray for them to be safe and sound. i pray that the injuries will be minimised. i pray that the missing be found. and those who pass on rest in peace. i pray that the parted families find their loved ones. i pray that those who have lost their shelter because of this incident, quickly find a shelter. i pray that all the kind souls will help the people in Java.

your humble daughter,
nicole

there you'll be

I'll keep a part of you with me

and when i was eating lunch,
i drank water with gas.
i ate raw fillet.

how interesting.
anyway, we walk and walk.
and walk and walk and walk.
til my legs ache and ache.
but, its shopping.
heh.



when i think back
on these times,
and the dreams
we left behind.
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life. ((:

i feel emo.

i feel emo.
like just emo.
only a lil emo.
JUST that little.
i mean..
com'on lar!
who isnt? HA HA.

anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARILYN!
like i feel so proud
cos i made her a card.
like totally gorgeous card.
like TOTALLY please. =D

and i got back paper one lit and chinese.
failed lit passed chinese.
like WTH please.
the world is falling down.
i failed GP and passed chinese.
OH! spare me.
abhor me from such torment.
urgh.

today's the first day at some retarded classroom.
kinda like feel so strange.
like not used to it lar.
but it's a WHOLE lot cooler and windier.
heh heh.

you know arh.
i do feel a lil emo.
like now.
perhaps i feel a lil emo like.
everyday.
but. i dont know lar. haha!
it's okay.

i changed my blogskin.
decided for things to stay simple.
cos obviously things arent moving.
maybe it wasnt meant to move.
as in maybe..
i dont know.
HA HA.



muahs*

this is love

saturday
went to novena. and then went home. and after that went to kanektas's second year anniversary costume party.


sunday
and it started raining like what the hell. went to church, had mass. and the weather turned hot. like H-O-T. oh my son. i was so sweaty lar. and then went to mama house.


today
school's B-O-R-I-N-G. was kinda pissed off by some certain person. like please i wasnt even attacking you lar, dont be so defensive can. WTH.


tomorrow
class photo taking. marilyn's birthday.


wednesday
OVER-DUED polling day holiday. gonna eat with the rest. and surprise. HA.


and oh my fishing barracuda. i failed GP. i failed SEA hist. that's all that i've gotten back. =/ oh my bbqing fried chicken. i think if i fail somemore subjs, im gonna get grounded for life. bah!


and finally, the princess realises that this cannot carry on. and she decides to study. like study. HA HA. i wonder if she's for real. lols.

















when i look at my life, i realised that, everything's present and good. but, when i look deeper into my life. i realised that, love, care, bliss, hope, joy and satisfaction is all contemporaneous. however, there's this one thing that's missing. y.o.u my love



when i look at you, i see my knight in shining armour, my gentle love, my sweet and funny friend. you, are my everything.

superflous feeling

maybe my love is superflous

perhaps it is. i cant help feeling retarded. -.-


oh. i failed GP. hahahaha. choose to write a suicide question and i'll end up with grades like this. hahaha. JACK passed his GP lar. bah! okay lar. i'll be nice. hurhur.


today is a shitfull day. so long and boring. and i get back no papers at all. doh! no fun at all. hmm. so friggin boring lar. so i decided to sign out after maths. was feeling migrainish too.


cabbed home and fell asleep til six plus. and realised my hamster is not in the cage. LOL.









im bored.

mhmm

Girls Facts:

When a girl misses u, she's afraid to see how your new girl looks,

she's dreading the fact that ur not hers any more

When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when bumping heads 3 years later

When a girl just stares deep into your eyes, she'sHOPING that your hers and only hers

( itshowshow much she cares: eyes never lie)

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,

she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few seconds,

she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever, "she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you." no one in this world can miss you more than that

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls u he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes,he means it

When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do?

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves youhe means it

When a guy says he can't live without you he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you, "he misses you more than you could have ever missed him

=====================================

hmmm, today's quite a tired day. i was hoping to get some papers back. but apparently none came back. today's pe's quite slack tho. teehee. but then! OMFish. i think im gonna stop eating for 3 months. rarrr!


after school went to ikea to eat meatballs! mmhmm! deliciousto! hahaha.. so nice lar. went with hazel and janessa. ((: and then walked in ikea. hahaha. and i took pencilS. hahaha. cool. i think i'll not run outta pencils in the next few months. LOLS. and then subra smsed me. lols. and err, said the core team going to ikea too. haha. asked if i wanted to go join them. i thought for a while lar. but decided not to. hahaha. and they went sheng shiong after that. to shop for sat's stuffs.


its kinda weird. i.. dont know.. its either he's weird or im lovin' it. now, he strikes conversation with me. and reply my msges. im kinda surprised. =D but, nothing's ever changed tho.











;but i'd prefer the times,
when you kiss me on my lips (:

sentosa!

SENTOSA pictures. hahahas.

sentosa!

we can take photos everywhere. =D

and we spent the rest of the day playing this.

onetwothreefourfive

total retard.

beach tram! cheeky uncle offer to take pic for us.

one of my very bored picture

after much trouble


this is only like some of the few. HAHA. we took 80plus pictures today. at sentosa. yes. cam whores. HAHAHAHA.


SENTOSA

anyway, more photos.
http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/orange_suicide_note/album?.dir=/b360scd&.src=ph

yupps. its like all super retarded. hahaha. today's like super hilarious. sentosa is not that fun after all. gotta pay like for almost EVERYTHING. only like enjoyed the ebach part. hahaha! next time go there must tan longer. muahahahahas.


and i realised. only marilyn is willing to take retarded pictures with me. awww, so sad. nvm. HAHA. hmmm, quite funny tho. lols. OH. i bought a abercrombie and fitch skirt. muahahahas. always wanted one. hahaha. OH!

this is where memories flow..


yupp went plaza sing after we left sentosa. den went to the arcade and played photo hunt til we decided to go home. HAHA.








8:20pm
110706






I SLEPT WITH HIM.
HE'S MINE. =D

i just cant get enough of you. ((:

loves

;he's mine. i slept with him. <3


some how i just like this feeling.
of us seemingly far a part but, some how still very near.
i dont know why.


is this the reason why i fall so deep..
tell me. wake me up.
this might all be a dream.

hello?

Eh, EXCUSE ME.


taken from JACKass's blog:

Nicole the retard saw this on her way to the national stadium for SYF and being a total retard, she snapped it and says that it's retarded because it has my name on it. Coincidentally, it's my father's company. LOL.

http://jaaaack.blogspot.com/

for a start, NICOLE IS NOT A RETARD. rarrr! and of cos its retarded because it has JACK's name on it. like what the hell please. i am NOT a retard. damn nice lar. i take picture for you. thought send you liao you would like thank me and be so grateful and buy me dinner and be my slave. AHAHA.





jackass.
muahahahahahas.

im ftting bored.

Name 11 people you can think of right now in your head.
After that tag at least 5 people to do this.

1. XieEnQi
2. BenjaminLim
3. TohWeeHong
4. JeremySubra
5. MelissaNg
6. HazelGoh
7. MarilynLie
8. TohHuiFen
9. TanJackLong
10. ChanLien
11. ValerieZhou


1. How did you meet 10?
> ChanLien. in school. secondary school.


2.What would you do if you never met 2
> BenLim. i'd never realise that sunset would look this good.


3.What would you do if 9 and 11 dated?
> TanJackLong and Val. HAHA. they would never.


4.Do you like 7?
> lols. I love marilynLie.


5.would 5 and 6 make a good couple?
> Melissa and Hazel? no. melissa and greg make a better couple.


6.Describe 3.
> TohWeeHong. so handsome. HAHA.


7.Do you think 8 is attractive?
> TohHuiFen. of cos why else is she my LOVE.


8.Tell me something about 2.
> BenLim. he can only be my friend.


9.Do you know any of 4's family?
> JeremySubra. his sister looks better then him. HAHA.


10.Whats 5's favourite things?
> MelissaNg. err. greg.. and err greg? LOLS.


11.What would you do if 3 confesses he/she likes you?
> TohWeeHong. HAHA. i'd like tot think that way, but no. i'd prefer to wait for h.i.m ((:


12.What language does 6 speak?
> Hazel speaks TAMIL. serious.


13.Who is 9 going out with?
> TanJackLong. his girlfriend doh.. lols.

14. How old is 8 now?
> TohHuiFen is waiting to be 17 in sept 3rd.


15.When was the last time you talked to 1?
> XieEnQi. just last night.


16.What is 2's favourite band/singer?
> BenLim. Guns and Roses?


17.Would you ever date 7?
> MarilynLie. we have a date tomorrow. muahahahhas. so so so scandalous.


18.Would you ever date 11?
> Val. i would. if charles aloow me to. HAHA.


People whom you want to pass this on to
> XieEnQi
> Jack
> Lien
> Melissa
> HUIFEN.





bored bored bored bored bored broed bored broed

cookies

look like koala bear. LOLS.

princess! so C-U-T-E!

jovina(janessa's sister) made this just for me! aww, im so touched!

pre-baked cookies. mmhmm!

watching tv? muahahas.

baking...

so nice to watch? television. baking channel. HAHA.





cookies of love
special ingredient: LOVE

hsiang lin, janessa and me!

yessss! i baked cookies! muahahahas. so nice lar. soo sweet. teehee! taste not bad too! muahahahas.


sighs i wanted to bake some for him too. but i figured he might not even wanna talk to me. sighs. subra says, he'll come back for me. i dont want him to come back for me, i just want him to be my friend. ): like how we used to be. like what we used to be. sighs. every single time i see him, i'll hate myself. argh!


anyways, the cookies are for tmr. ((: i made marilyn guessed what we did today. and she started guessing like a retard. LOL. i enjoy that actually. muahahahas.


tomorrow is gonna be so fun! teehees! 9am at JE mrt station. muaahahahahas. the only camera i have is my phone. lols. oh wells. im gonna save up and get myself a digi cam! 500 bucks plus. im sure i'll come to that sum. LOLS.


while i was baking, VALERIE msged me. and asked me sth. lols. some retard qns thingy. HAHA. I LOVE VAL! muahahahahahas. charles, i love val. =D


i so cannot wait for tomorrow.


dear lord,
please do not let it rain tomorrow.
i pray.
amen.





i'm not a perfect person.
there're many things i wish i didnt do.
but i continue learning.
i never meant to do those things to you.

i'm sorry that i hurt you.
its something i must live with every day.
and all the pain i've put you through
i wish that i could take it all away.
and be the one who catches all your tears.

and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know
i found the reason for me
to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new


a reason for all that i do.






and the reason is y.o.u



you know i never meant to do those things i did. people tell me that im deprived of my chance, but for a start, i dont even deserve a chance. so where did the word deserve come from? maybe ruining bliss is all i know how to do. come one day, if bliss is able to survive my temper, that, is love. chance is something i will never get. to hell with chance, i just want to be his friend. sighs. subra says, how come you all become like that? well, i dont have a clue at all. lien says, i think you all piss each other off purposely. you know that's all i can do to make him talk to me. =/


you know i feel,
like the sunset in my heart is.
missing.



9:05pm
100706

















you'll always be the sun in my sky.

reminisence

i saw him today.


i felt..


!@#$%!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(^&*^&* sighs. i lied. rarrrrr! wth is wrong with me. arghs!


today attended mass with subra and joanne and jeremy. when i prayed, tears fell. i felt like an ass. wth lar.




















































i am some one
so not worthy
of your love.

i lied

i lied.
the very first and last time.


i tried can. and i got my answer too. thank you. ((: are you really in philidelphia? lols.


he doesnt trust me either. should i say im glad we are just friends. actually i knew he would check. haha. its okay, least i knew what i wanted to know.


my acting sucks lar. i know that. dont laugh you mel thing. your script lousy can. what kinda speech was that suppose to be. and you replied like so slow i dont know how to answer. lols. anyway, is tylor alright? heard he's coming back. please stop him. OMgosh. least lemme get over this first. i look really vulnerable now. when are you gonna call me? doh.. haha! when you coming back? which stop is singapore. lols.


enqi will think im crazy if she knows. she forgot bout me while shopping in msia. ):


mummy's in trouble. God help mummy please. the feeling of losing the ones you love really sucks. sighs.


and my asthma isnt getting better. =/ my life's a mess. woot! lols.





0112
090706














i lied. i am sorry.
i just wanted to know.

its okay melody

8 Jul 06, 20:20
mel:
OMLove. did he reject you?! hello, arent you the one giving him the chance? omg. please fill me in. i'll fly back and skin him alive! who the hell does he think he is? hes not even worthy of you! omg.



8 Jul 06, 20:22
mel:
hello, i just dont know why you cant get over such a bastard. please nic, you got so many choices! tylor is still wating. im sure there're so many boys! please. dump that SH*Thole.


8 Jul 06, 20:24
mel:
and hello, benjamin lim zhu en! how dare you! do you know how she suffered alone waiting for you?! do you know how she rejected the most eligible guy? and all you know is to say she dont trust you.WTH


8 Jul 06, 20:26
mel:
all you do is be infactuated ALL THE TIME. when can MEN learn to be FAITHFUL? stop leading my nic on if you dont mean to patch at all. damn you bastard! what the hell is wrong with you?!


8 Jul 06, 20:28
mel:
nic is such a wonderful girl. i bet jack isnt even on par with her! and i ONCE thought you were the person she'd die for. do you have any idea how much she loves you? do you even love her at all?


8 Jul 06, 20:29
mel:
what happened to ALL the promises you made to her. as far as i know, she had not broken any at all! ever since she fell for you, she's done so many things nicole wouldnt do. hello, what about you?


8 Jul 06, 20:32
mel:
nic! arent you the least raged up? i feel so angry for you. OMLove, how i wish i'd fly back now. i wouldnt let you cry alone! dont cry darling. your my treasure. he gave up treasure for some sand.


8 Jul 06, 20:33
mel:
he's a foolish man. he doesnt know how to treasure you. you've done your part for a year. it's been a tiring year. dont dwell on the past cos it aint worth it. find a better man. you know i do love u.


8 Jul 06, 20:35
mel:
oh no! did you cry the whole of last night? did you have an attack? HELLO ben lim! do you know she's got asthma? if you land her in the hospital i'll make sure you'd regret it all your life.


8 Jul 06, 20:36
mel:
do you even realise she's the woman you love so much? how can you make yourself do this to her. breaking her heart the second time. she's just a girl. very vulnerable girl. where's your heart?


8 Jul 06, 20:39
mel:
look what you've done to her. do you even realise nicole is so much prettier? do you realise nicole loves you more than some other girl? poor girl. argh. i feel useless. im not there when you needed me


its okay, melody. i've never really love him anyway. ((:


and ya, he did reject me. and no he was giving me a chance. i am not worthy of him and he is not a bastard. no i am not angry. and jack seems a pretty nice girl. i hope they're happy together. =) no i did not have an attack, almost at least. and im not the woman he loves anymore. and i am never pretty. it's okay dear. i had God with me. i had a nice long chat with Him. tho he didnt answer me, i felt kinda good after, that's why i managed to sleep.. thank you darl. tho uncle pete is like so very rich, you dont have to fly back. thank you, i know you care. but i am fine really. i dont feel at least raged up. and i wont cry anymore. i am really fine. it's not as difficult as you think. i am taking it really lightly. nicole has been a really good girl. she's done so many things she would never do at all. she really tried really hard. and she's tired now. she needs a break from all these stuff and she's devoted to entirely her studies. ((:


9.59pm
080706





melody, it's not his fault.
dont scold him please.
dont change how you view him. please.
he's still very nice.
do it for me. will you?
please?

just as well

it's okay. (:

i've never really loved you anyway. haha. it doesnt really matter. lols. =D


enqi, im okay. hahas. this isnt the first time anyway. lols. i've gotten used to the heartbreak. oh naw. should i say, i didnt really loved him anyway. did my heart even break? lols. funny how i felt nothing last night. hahaha. i didnt cry and i didnt get angry. haha. ok mayb i did cry. but i stopped like after awhile. lols.


i sat on my bed the whole night and i stared at the ceiling. i didnt feel anything. it was until 4.58 i decided to try and sleep. hahahahahaha.


two times. two times you tried patching with an infactuation in your heart. haha. how fair was it for me? lols. it's okay. haha. like i've said, i didnt really loved you anyway. hahaha. just as well. ((: i'm still a very happy girl. cos i never loved you. HAHA. it's good to see you disappointed. did you cry? haha. that's pretty enjoyable. can we do that again? lols.


im going sentosa's! muahahahas.


5:41pm
080706




















the second time my heart broke.
i lost you again.
i lost you in the end.
you can only be my friend.
it didnt feel any good.
not a single bit.
yeah, i dumped you.
i know that. of cos i know.
haha. how can i forget.
saying so many things i didnt mean last night,
but in the end,
with him around,
i just have to say how i really feel.
i was pretty vulnerable last night.
i felt like i was going to die.
i was gonna D-I-E.
my heart stopped beating.
i stopped living.
maybe if you'd just tell me,
i just dont love you no more.
i might feel a little better.
talked to God last night.
slept at 5 cos i had blocked nose.
started wheezing when i decided to go to bed.