L.O.V.E

HAPPY 15th HUN.

L.O.V.E. - Natali...

i love you(:

#1 boyfriend stealer

finally, a guy standing on my side.

Felix likes to be told the obvious. Tears on my touchpad. says:
dota is bf stealer

i just dont see whats so good about it, all i do in the game is wait for my respawn. it's dumb.

you make me happy (:

Life's been good.

Sleeping at 4, 5 am in the morning, sometimes i could do without sleep.
Watching drama series on CRUNCHYROLL.com and TUDOU.com.
why why love is GOOD. so is summer heartbeat (it's about volleyball).

Life is good.

Except days which are taken up by monstrous volley training.
You know, my thighs just declared strike on me just a few moments ago.
and there's friendly with Unity Sec on Friday, and some club thing on the 9th and 16th.
there's training on Tuesdays and Thursday at Unity's throughout December.

Life will be better.

Yes, i am looking for jobs so i can spend my Christmas like a happy girl. (:
_____ ______'s good, $900/mth. hmmm, we'll see.

Good good.

oh, i am going to hunt for more shows to watch now.
and, i love my boyfriend. (:

your lyrics (:

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

TMD

Count yours too (:

21 - All I Want Fo...

alright, imma count my blessings for this entry. i think it'll be an endless list, but still imma try counting them. the really prominent ones would be easy, but that doesnt mean those that i didnt list out is not important. (:

alright, first up.
JACK❤
well, he's the best thing that happened to me. this im sure, very very sure. better than very other person/thing/event. i think im really blessed to have met JACK(: and im ever so grateful cos he's mine. oh yes, it made me the happiest girl. he's number one on my thanksgiving prayers list. and i can go on and on like yakedi-yakedi-yak.

alright, im done. okay, truth is, im too lazy. hahahaha. and you know what? i dont care, cos i said what i wanted to. i feel so bitchy, i dont even care what you think now. phffft. hurhur.

oh yes, i need a dress for CHRISTM❤S. and, it's just another 34 days to christm❤s, im already in the mood for christm❤s if you havent already notice. oh that reminds me.

we've spent two Christm❤s-es walking beneath the shimmering christm❤s lights in town. it's probably the happiest thing i realised this morning. (: oh and yes, i l❤ve christmas, like LOVE❤. but this year's a little too whitish plain, but i still like. i loikee going every where to admire the lovely christm❤s trees. ohh, omg, i LOVE christm❤s.

alright, i think you should get what i was trying to put across.
if you didnt, then I ❤ CHRISTM❤S.(:

p.s damn it, i feel so twitty cos this entry's full of ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤. oh, but i dont really care. (:

that strong passionate emotion we call love

it's funny how typical relationships can be, when you thought you were the only one having to overcome such pain, there are directors filming your love life. after watching all 50 episodes, it kind of brought back painful memories. memories which haunted me for nearly a year or so, almost similar story line, but totally different plot.

it reminded me of what a bastard he was, how he used to love me so much so that he'd give his life for me. how he'd make me smile when i frown, how he'd piss me off with small lil things. most importantly, i realise, i wasnt silly, waiting for him that whole year. i, did it willingly. and if i had a choice to choose to be with him again, i'd do the same thing, feel the same way, cry the same tears.

relationships that you thought ended, lingers. and, ended up hurting more people than ever imagined. i must admit, i cried when each significant scene was shown, my mind uncontrollably reminded me of the memories that were locked in a vault, kept deep down inside.

to be honest, the show reminded me of what benn and i shared. i could almost relate to the show, like i was almost part of it. i must agree, that one can never forget how another made them feel. the love, the hate, the wait, the blessings we gave. i'm sure if benn should happen to read this entry, he'll agree, what we shared was one that we'll never forget. one that can never be replaced. one that is part of our memory, our history.

and before the love of my life feels sour-ness in the heart that belongs to me, i'd want him to know that this memory, is also an experience that i'll never have to go through again. and i want thank benn, for teaching me how to cherish, to give in, to understand, to love, to tolerate, and to compromise. if not for all these painful lessons, jack and i wouldnt have come so far.

to make this entry sappy and all,
i'd want you to know, that i've decided on who to spend the rest of my life with, and i am willing to give my life up for yours if there should be a need to, i want to watch you sleep, and wake up to see your face. and i so need you in my life, that you've unknowingly become a part of me. there are too much words i ned you to hear, so much that it's so difficult to put it in words. and these words, you'd prolly know it before i say it. because i know, you feel me, and likewise. i trust you'll stay with me, and never leave. i trust you'll love me, so deep like the oceans. i entrust to you my life, my whole heart. and
hunny, iloveyou. i really do.

the perfect song for a perfect love

Your Guardian Ange...

love of my life

he's the only person i'd want to smell, if i had only one last breath.

and when jack has no hockey and is oh so free, i decided to be such a brat. =(((((

angels (:

mel, greg, aaron, god, benn, me and food.
omgomgomg, this aint exactly the nicest picture of us.
but i still love them, like a koala loves eucalyptus leaves. =D
and, i miss them so much that i want to go for youth this sunday! woohoo!

dang, i was so effing fat. i cant believe it. but i still love food. period.

what a farcical entry

benn. with the double N 722435 says:
TWO MORE DAYS
benn. with the double N 722435 says:
MUAHA
nicole. says:
o.O
nicole. says:
is that gloating or is that consoling?
benn. with the double N 722435 says:
i dunno

look, i have a weird friend. but, i still am glad. (:

i always thought i was happy girl, but i thought wrong. I'm not feeling really good inside me, this weird horrible feeling overwhelms me. makes my tears roll down my cheekbones, makes me feel like a loser. i find, all my confidantes and confidants all gone. they, aren't the people i used to know and love. time mercilessly tore us apart. home's but a roof over my head, that's really all that it is. the boyfriend, barely have enough time to return my call, much less hear me rant. my heart's small, but it has a lot of vaults, it can store more troubles than you think it can. (:

reality's almost a mercurial girl.

merry go round

been sleeping at really unearthly hours these days. say, 5 or 6 in the morning? but no eye bags, no tantrums. what have i been doing? oooh, i tell you everything. i.. have been playing.. DIABLO. tsktsk. =X

well, jack's been busy. so I'd only meet him after his trainings.

yesterday was good, good food, good company. yesterday was Jack's God mum's birthday. and of all places, we had to eat in a restaurant right smack in the middle of Little India. how cool, the car could barely move in the alleys, and it was totally dark. with murmurings of a foreign accent, i was freaked out. totally. but, the food was good. and Josey, Jessie, Jack and i were laughing all the way. =D

Jurong Point has this temp stall along the bus interchange, and it's selling donuts, delicious and pretty ones. i would show you the picture i took if i weren't this lazy. =X imma get some later when i meet Jack. =D

if you dont have money, dont be sad. Jack and i will show you how to stay happy without money! =D how cool alright, we survived last week without much money. and this week too. dang, although i'd admit that having money is so much better. =/

did i mention that i cant wait for friday to come. fun and booze and stayovers. much loves. =D friday friday friday friday.

honestly, I'm quite distracted now. my heart's not here, i don't feel like typing anymore. i need, to get on with ma Diablo. omgomgomg, im addicted, and i don't quite care. BYE.

pretty nails

alright, im back for more heart warming tales. but first, after reading Nas and Farah's blog, i have this really...

-inserts pause, looks at freshly manicured nails, heart breaks + a lil drama-

*omg, my nails! i just got it done, oh! my nails. damnit, my nails are destroyed. i can't believe it. urgh!

okay, lets try that again, in a less than bimbotic manner.

Nicole, you need to type really slowly, avoiding any slightest contact with the monstrous manicured nail eating keyboard, and pay close attention to your champagne coloured pretty nails.

well, that didnt work either. but heck.

ah, yes as i was saying. after reading Nas and Farah's blog, i have this really sad sad feeling dwelling in my heart. damn it.

Eunice - you've been the best girlfriend. well, the stains and tears you'd probably saw. this, is when girlfriends are waay better than boyfriends. the way you gave me advices and how you spill almost all your troubles at me and the way i listen to you bitch about almost everything, makes me a happier girl. although i may not be as close as your supergirlfriends, i know you care, unlike other people in class. these two years, i feel was worthwhile, knowing people like you. (: p.s i cant wait for Friday to come, tho i know you may not be up to something good. =/

dang, i cant seem to think of anymore people i wanna talk about. =/

now, for people outside 06A1 and closest to my heart;

Qi & Fen - you've been here for me since forever. even though we never meet, even though we barely spoke. i miss having to look at you everyday, i miss bitching with you everyday, i miss all the weird things we do together. there's so much to say, and... just suddenly, im at a loss for words. ='(

aircon - thanks for your occassional leaks, causing me to sleep in a super stuffy room. well, nevertheless, i love you and i cant imagine life without you. (:
well, i might have sounded like a spoilt brat, but i NEED my aircon. and you know it.

Jack - i dont know what else to do if not for you. standing by me all these 14 months, taking all the hot and cold. all your (bitter)sweet actions, i (dis)like. it's kinda fast dont you think, 14 months. i felt like just months ago, you held my hand and walked town with shimmering chirstmas lights dazzling above us. in a few week's time, we'll be doing that again. i loikee. =DD the way you protect me from things i dislike, the way you spite me with your stupid words, the way you call me bimbotic (stop doing that, or i'll bedazzle your hockey stick and underwears), the bimbotic moments and all the whatnots. there's just too much to say, too much to be penned down in words. just, watch the glow above my head. you're so loved alright. =D

alright then,
mom - thanks for being a pain in my ass, and all the ridiculous scoldings and shouting hurled at me. thanks for all the oh so unreasonable talks we had, thanks for the not understanding mes, and all the old fashioned ideas. thanks for being so mean to me, and thanks for not giving me pocket money. thanks for not paying my phone bills, thanks for scolding me when i used the money i earned to buy what i want. thanks for taking money i earned away from me, and thanks for asking me to work so you'll have money. thanks for all the stupid insults you stoned at me, thanks for all your intellectual remarks. i so needed these in all my 18 years of age.

The Game Plan and StarDust was good, almost amazing. =)

Dedications (:

i'm beginning to loathe holidays. and, i miss all the nice people in class. the way we talked about everything, the way we pass sweets around, the way all the nice malay classmates bring kuehkuehs for me, and all the boob grabbing and ass squeezing activities. not to mention, all the malay and tamil lessons. tell me, how not to miss these people?

FarahAIN - you know, you're not all that fat actually. (: i loikee you. i loikee sitting with you, and laughing at i-can't-remember-what. oh, and the way you tell me secrets like nas don't even know it. (but dammit, i know nas knows.) you'd better date me out and eat that super delicious roti prata you and nas described, and then we can go for runs along the smelly canal. =D

Nas - i think you're really cantik. (: other than the fact that you machiam gemuk orang utan (but this is already proven otherwise by the fact that you lost weight.) i loikee you too, but i loike farah more! tsktsk. nah, i love the both of you like WHOA! and all your crazy dieting ideas. i'm gonna miss the two of yoou! RARRs! i'm sure adbar will earn a lot a lot of money in future, so you wont have to specially go down to arab street to eat! =X hurhur, stop skipping PE lessons, haven't you regretted enough? lol. OF COURSE, your oh-so-bimbotic talks.

Eddy - i loikee how we talk about our future. about how you planned to walk to Russia, and how you plan to do all the other crazy things. oh, and i did contemplate about walking to Russia with you. HURHUR. and i think getting outta MI may not be a bad thing for you, prolly, you just dont suit the A level course. Poly might be better for you, IF you come to your senses about climbing gates and smoking in all the secluded places. i loike disturbing Farisha with you and Faris. i loike the bitching sessions with you. you made school happier than it should be. i think you look better than Jeff and Joel, just stop being so mat-tish. =D

Jeff - i'm glad you shared secrets with me. =D i'm glad i knew you, even though you don't come to math lessons all the time. you made school a lil happier than it should be too. i'll miss your hardcore bitching sessions and all the crazy things you'd do with eddy. =D

Joel - i don't know if you meant all your-standing-up-for-me-s, but i know i really appreciate it. (: i loike the way you bitch about all the people you and i don't like. all the funny and weird stuffs you show me, and all the im-coming-to-school-s, even though you never did. =X it's funny when you least expect things to happen, it happens. like how i never expected you to call and chat with me, and how i never expected you to talk to me about things between you and nicole. you brought lotsa of smiles and laughter to school too! all your stupid talk-backs, and your nonsensical stuffs.

MY PW groupies - OMG, im gonna miss all of you, FARIS INCLUDED. im gonna miss how we laughed at faris, and how he bullied us! im gonna miss all the pubic hair talks, im gonna miss the way we meet up during breaks and did nothing in the end. im gonna miss meeting up for pw even though i dont like meeting up. im gonna miss my group cos it's the best group in A1! RARR, im just gonna miss yall! people say PW messes up friendships, but i think PW made us 4 new friends each! =DD i loikeee! even if i have to redo PW next year, i know that no other group can replace MI018. =DDDDDD

Jack's PW groupies - i dont know why im gonna miss yall, maybe cos your group and my group's like merged or something. LMAO. im gonna miss NAS's stupid stand-in-front-of-glass-panel-waiting-for-it-to-slide-open-like-a-glass-door. and im gonna miss how farisha put all the retained people down. im gonna miss how melvin said stupid is not in his JEANS. oh wells.

okay, wait for the next entry. im gonna play Diablo now. =D

hockey has never been so appealing

this is prolly the only time i love hockey so much.
ice + hockey + cute Caucasian boys = fantastic hockey experience

oh, im learning to love hockey. (:

enough (:

Take a trip there, read for yourselves. (:

sometimes, you dont have to stoop so low just to get back at me. fulminating me doesnt work, in fact, you make me feel disgusted at how low you're willing to stoop, to mock me in methods that just doesnt affect me. just because i rebuked your post. resorting to personal attacks reveal the barbaric side in you. im not gonna stoop so low with you. im not even bothered by the fact that i have to retain, cos it never affected me from the start. besides, im quite glad i have to retain, other than the fact that i have to leave the people i love in class. (: oh yes, may i qoute gerlaine, quit trying to act like you liked me and then the next moment you proclaim how much you hate me. and for your information, i dont hate you. i just dont agree with how you view me and grace. i told gerlaine and huimin that, this i cannot deny.

perhaps i wasnt supposed to read this, die bitch,DIE!!
and making your words appear invisible on your post is quite outdated now.
now now, i really dont understand, who's the one acting now? =/

sciolism i must say. hurhur. (:
im not fugly by the way, i love the way i am. just like how you love the way you are. (:

bullshit

I Hope next yr will be the yr tt our vball team will win something, I
believe we can,wif the help by a few more potential players joining next yr,I
WANT TO WIN.Provided everybody has got the mentality.It's all in the mind.

obviously, this isn't my English. atrocious isn't it? not the English of course. but the kinda TEAM SPIRIT, this person portrayed. team spirit you say? so, may i ask what more mentality do you need? (: well, i thought beauty was skin deep, but then again, you're quite ugly after all. =/ your team isn't all that great, even if you're the best players, you'll never possess sportmanship. cause you, and your other main 3 look down on the rest who can't play. that's why. suckers.

we walked the whole of town, oh yes we did. jack finally found his beige vest, and as for me, I'm loving my new white bag. Jack paid for it, with my NETS. *rolls my eyes. our banks are quite empty now, chicken rice from now on, how sad.

we're going to church tomorrow, after so long. I've been skipping mass, I'm a naughty girl. =/ and after that, to the grandma's. i suppose more pictures to be posted after tomorrow. i loikeee. (:

why do i enjoy my holidays so much, even when i'm utterly penniless. hurhur. i seriously need to get a job, asap. nothing below $8/hour. i'm not really for CL (Cheap Labour). (:

don't even think about reading on, cause I'M NOT GONNA CONTINUE. i need to talk to my circle of fenqi. although qi is in the toilet trying to grow watermelons above waist level. =/ oh, don't even think of it, NOBODY'S ALLOWED TO JOIN. just stand aside, and WATCH US go round and round. I DON'T CARE.

and, you know what? you can never count on boyfriends to stand up for you when some other bitches puts you down. they are either too stupid to realise or they simply think it's okay. they just think you're making a mountain out of a molehill, when it was a mountain to fucking begin with. heh.

that's what friends are for, girls and guys alike. no one understands it better than friends who care enough. cos they care and they stand up for you when you need it most. PROVEN.

jack knows...

i have a fetish for small, cute Caucasian boys. not British ones tho.

YISS (:

as much as i want to attend, i'll just advertise. (:

Math tomorrow.
God bless me with energy and logic,
may i survive the torturous paper.

Civil War - Guns N' Roses
Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they've always done before

Look at the hate we're breeding
Look at the fear we're feeding
Look at the lives we're leading
The way we've always done before

My hands are tied
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or human rights
'Cause all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars

cravings

i'll be a really happy girl after the 5th, and a happy girl needs a lot of love. say... a hugemongemous shopping spree.

now, this is the list of all the cowly things i want to do after i victoriously regain my below zero stress level.

-shopping is a must have
-suntanning will make me extra happy
-going to night safari will make me even more happy
-bring my lovely to sentosa for a day of cowly fun
-ice skate and picnic and fly kite and go prawning (:
-make jack cook my chilli crab for me, oh and my sewet and sour pork of course.

-pray and hope daddy brings us to Korea
-pray and hope jack's mummy buys an oven so i can bake and bake
-pray and hope the sky throws a herd of cows filled with money into my pocket

hmmm, that's about all. for now. heh.