simplicity is bliss. (:

haha.. yes. indeed! simplicity is bliss. and im quite enjoying it. every moment. (: now that things have.. well.. been made clear a bit.. im feeling a lil wee bit better. (: and yes.. tho this is quite tough to tackle, im not giving up mans! haha.. this is like the most diff one lar.. nope nope. im not giving up. i see a lil wee bit hope.. haha.. or at least i think lar..

right.. today was my practicals!! EH. its LEAD (ll) NITRATE lar.. confirmed. (: haha.. im smart remember? haha.. dont argue.. it is wat it is. lead (ll) nitrate. haha. not aluminium, nor iron. -.-" haha.. white ppt, soluble in excess. smart eh. hehehes.. (wait wrong i laugh) haha. right.. boo.. today spent my day at cc.. again.. haha.. -.-// haha.. so boring lar.. den anana ps me.. heavy COLOUR light friend. ): sad man. haha. nairmind. i understand. haha.. =P

sighs.. L1R4 23.. L1R5 35. lols. wonder where can i go.. haha.. boo.. trying to study still.. haha.. not only me lor.. some OTHER ppl more pro lor.. can everyday play bball.. no need study de.. haha.. sighs.. O level leh.. big big leh.. haha.. lols.. siao.. hahaha.. =P

sighs.. so boring.. he not online.. boo.. so sad.. haha.. but nairmmind.. hehe.. today olso quite happy.. hehehe.. ((:

-the power of love.. [:

this is getting fun. (:

this is really getting interesting. hahas. today's very tiring. haha.. supposing to go to mac and study.. but i ended up play more then i study. haha. i did study lar.. at least a lil.. hahas.. i did one whole question on sole trader.. haha. smart eh.. hehes.. and i completed it!! haha.. i kno how to do!! haha.. yay! lols.. right.. poa isnt diff at all.. haha.. after the so called "much"practises.. hahaha.. äight.. thats rubbish lar. =D

right..

counting down : 20 days.

how fast eh.. and ppl are stil playing everyday. (i guess that includes me too) haha.. im trying very hard arh.. haha.. to refrain frm playing.. haha.. its hard u kno.. for kids our age to sit down and really study lar.. of cos we'll think of playing lar.. haha.. we're normal kids ya.. haha.. (: i've kinda started on poa, maths, a lil on amaths, and chem. and thats all i think. haha.. its all bits and pieces everywhere.. haha.. so ya.. not much of a diff lar.. haha.. stil considered as nvr study lar.. hahas.

hohoho! thursday is my practicals! hahas.. i dont even kno the time lar.. haha.. ._."' hahas.. boo.. im only afraid for my chem prac.. physic aint hard.. but chem.. alota memorising.. no more free braincells. hahas. sighs.. this really wont do lar.. need to get on with my studies liao.. must must must.. haha.. or at least i'll try. (:

right! today was fun. hahas. yes it was. haha. and it is. haha. i guess.. im so prouda myself! today's ball so nice.. haha.. wash the bowl.. wash til so clean.. hahaha.. boo.. long long one time.. let me happy a bit lar.. hahaha. (: ahh.. my leg very pain.. poor me.. hais..

HOHOHO! im happy! haha.. wanna kno why..? hahaha.. hahaha.. go figure it out urself. haha.. lien's a super nice guy! haha. hmm.. now i kno liao.. but wat am i supposed to do? hais. hais hais hais hais hais hais hais hais. boo.. so am i happy or am i sad? hahaha. sians.. *blur..

ok. i think im done. lazy lar.. hehes.

((: blow til i fall.

Disaster Strikes.

OMG. this is getting terrible. sighs sighs sighs. tell me this is not true. my gosh. do something. ahhh.. what luck! damn.. how can this be true? hur hur hur?

BUT. im very sure. i only have the wind. i want only the wind. the cooling breeze.. ((: bliss in his presence.. how comforting. ahh.. rightt.. thats all beside the point. haha.

rightt.. damn! what luck. as i was saying.. yes.. i realised.. omg. how can that person like me? eh. and he knows i like.. ahem.. haha. right. so i was like oh no.. haha. i told mary. haha. and mary's reaction was exactly wat i expected. hahaha. right.. so ya.

and yes! i treat him chocolate.. hahaha.. (: but then he didnt say thank you.. ): nairmind.. haha.. take my chocolate can ler.. hehehes.. ((: ((: ((:
enqi gave her chocolate to cheehow!! hahaha. ok. i shant elaborate. hahaha. =X anyway.. yes.. i was at mac today. yes. i was. and yes i kno today is sunday. haha. i was at mac and den i went for tuition. (: he was there too. hahaha. (: rightt.. but.. that wasnt my main intention for going there. i went there to do maths with enqi. yes. and i DID do maths. haha. and eat.. and look. ((: hmm.. was raining.. but we still went for tuition. haha. and den after tuition.. we came back.. sat at mac.. but then nobody was there.. ): haha.. they all went to shengwei's hse watch infection.. -.-l haha.. so lame hor.. haha. (actually i olso wanted to watch it lar.. but its at his hse.. den i was like forget it.. hahaha.) and then gim and yc came. haha.

AND THEN CHEEHOW CAME MAC WITH GERMAINE. haha. =X gave him the lollipop.. haha.. den weehong go home first.. haha.. den we all go 429 there eat.. haha.. den i come back lor.. den now blogging.. -.-" haha.. sians.. i think they stil playing bball. haha.. everyday play.. no need study de.. haha.. O level leh.. eh.. jian ren.. ask ur friends to study lar.. haha.. or u can call me out and study together.. hahaha.. i definitely wont mind.. hehehe.. (: sians.. hahaha..

sighs.. im falling deeper.. i think he's got gf.. boo.. so sad.. they wont tell me.. or rather i dunnoe who to believe and who not to.. sighs.. poor me.. enqi say dont have.. but den.. hais.. sians.. haha.. bie ti le.. zhen shang xin.. hais.. hahahas..

reminisince

Another guy, another story.

this is when my heartahces begin.

to the guy who has successfully captivated me with his alluring smiles.
this is what i think.

tall and dark.
tanned to perfection.
with smiles of a thousand sunsets.
with a figure like non other.
sweats like honey droplets.
he dresses with haute couture.
his hazadrous smiles,
literally melts my heart.
he plays with flawless skills.
100 and 1 % sex appeal.
turns me on every moment.
leave me lingering in my thoughts.
so attractive and suave.
ohh. how i adore him.
how i wish he's my prized possession.
he smells like the pot-pourri on my study table.
the thought of his magnificent face,
his muscular arms,
his bewitching smiles,
his tangible body,
the way he plays his game.
oh i really do feel guilty,
for the way i gawk at him.
for the way i look at him lustfully.
for the way he enters my thoughts.
for the way he leaves my dreams.
for the way i picture him in my mind.
for the way he smiles at me.
please legalize my thoughts.
where do u find such a boy-next-door,
with familiar smiles of the decade.
when my life seems blur,
he unknowingly enters my world.
brightened up my everydays.
he can be so friendly at times,
and be totally a fiend at other times.
can someone tell me what he thinks.
is he even attached?
i have absolutely no idea.
his sophisticated self puzzles me.
all i can do,
is to pend for the day,
he'd say "i love u".
but i do know,
it is obviously ostensible.
i can only live in my dreams.
trying to avoid reality.
he resurrected my confidence,
and crushed my wishes.
being in his presence,
simply is bliss.

sighs. im overwhelmed with schizophrenia..
i'd like to be gone with the wind. sighs.


[this is my own words. i did not copy and paste. (:]

sighs.

This Is When My Heartaches Begins.

sighs.. i dunnoe wat i am.. i am captivated.. but at the same time totally desolated. well.. mayb not totally.. but.. stil desolated.. its all happening again.. sighs.. how despairing.. boo hoo.. am i not pitiful enough? must i go tru this over and over again.. boo.. things are jus not going smoothly for me wen it comes to this. i wonder why..

u kno.. when u like a person.. or maybe even love, it doesnt mean that u have to be with him. it jus mean that u wont leave. its good enough to kno that he's happy and contented. (: i kno. i've been thru this too many a times.. i've seen things like this happening.. to me and my friends. i'll jus have to smile and get over it. yeh? i mean it's totally useless to hold on to something that u kno will nvr happen aight.. (: i've learnt. i've grown up. its not hard at all. or at least i wan it to be easy. love doesnt always come my way.. it came and i didnt cherish it til i lost it. and its no use looking back ya.. i kno. well.. at least my cousin told me. [: im ohkai..

stil, im captivated. happy to see him. and of cos, his smiles. totally mezmorised. haha. well.. u kno.. we're all stil friends and that is wat matters most ya? sighs.

its all jus plain self-comforting. sighs. that is the least i can do to pull myself outta this whole messed up shit im in. what esle can i do? cry? hohoho. no way am i gonna cry for no good reasons. haha. it sucks to cry lar. sighs. i've had enough. at least he's there. haha. like wat they say.. absence breeds fondness.. (: if we're meant to be.. we'll be. [:

but i do kno myself. like hello, when i say i like him, it doesnt mean he must too. he probably alr has that someone in his heart. haha. im not the kittenish kind. [unlike some one else we all kno] haha. rightt. im not s thick skinned anyway.. perhaps i'll jus wait.. well.. for.. him to like me.. or maybe for the infactuation to die off slowly. fade would be a nicer word tho.

and yes, i do appreciate the stupid things u guys have done. haha. tho it could be soooo irritating at times.. haha.. but yes.. i kno.. be it teasing or helping.. it was nice.. haha. i have to admit lar. its no good to lie. (: and i dont lie. yes. i dont. haha. eh, im tinking rightt, that it might have been u guys who'd been trying to be funny, that made him think that, well. make him realised i kinda like him and stuffs.. u kno.. boo.. now im sadeded. haha. jkjk.

these, are the chronicles in my life. it jus keeps repeating and repeating tho. like its an endless circle, in which im trapped in perpetually. haha. ok. it sounds a bit to exaggerating tho. haha. mayb i'll get out, the day when the one i've been yearning for enters. mayb i'll be stuck perpetually, god knows..

boo. right. enough of the desolating stuffs. not like its not screwed up enough.. haha. rightt. today was fun. wanna kno why? heehee. who try and figure it out. (: (: (: (: (:

theres a picture of u in my mind. =)

file://C:\Documents and Settings\Eddie\My Documents\My Pictures\picx

how right can this picture be? haha. this is hilarious. how interesting. anyway.. rightt.. saturdays are boring, well apart frm the previous post, i went for tuition in the morning. it was pouring. damn. how sickening. i was drenched when i got into class. walk soo long a journey lar. shit man. in the rain somemore. i went to class.. i saw huifen and khaifang, well. they are no drier.. haha. oh well.. dumb man.. tuition's passing very fast. as in.. erm.. i meant dat.. the duration of the tuition passes very fast. well.. fine.. so, time flies. duh~ hahaha. rightt.

a letter.

A very special letter to kenneth loke.

bloody (dear) kenneth.
wat the hell is ur problem eh? i think u've got some kind of big mouth that likes.. no.. loves to sprout nonsensical stuffs which, unfortunately, pissed me off. dont u kno that u are a nuisance? a pest, a bother, an irritant and an annoyance? if u'd like these letters of praise, u could have jus asked politely for it. and not trying so hard to get my attention. speaking of attention, u really do resemble the PERSON i was talking about in my previous post. do you think u might know and crush on such person? or mayb its a coincidence dat the both of u are in the same school and same class and same attitude and same FUGLY face? cos i really think so. and im sure. PLEASE do not try and exasperate me. do not be so conceited. please do not be so full of urself, u might explode. and dont think that u are all so high and mighty like that slut i've mentioned in my previous post. acting supercilious, WILL NOT MAKE U A RESPONSIBLE AND GOOD MONITOR. and obviously, u suck at being a monitor. i thot p.v.s.k would have done a better job than u did. and in fact, i thot anyone else could have done a better job. cos u have not, not once or ever, fulfilled ur responsibility as a monitor. i think that u need a psychiatrist. cos mayb u have that sickness. attention seeking illness. jus because ur not as popular as any of the other guys in class and in school. argh. spare me. i warn you. do not infuriate me any futher, cos IF u do, i might get pei sian to BURN ur pubic hair. please get outta my way. i do not wish to have perpetual annoyance. get lost u malodourous peacock. i think u are pathos. abnormal pain in the arse.

yours Faithfully,
nicole.

for more information, i think u can go to :
http://qiqi89-hkss.blogspot.com

Oh My Gosh.

OH MY GOSH. WHAT A FRIEND I HAVE.

my gosh. what a friend i have man. she's, (NOTE: its a SHE) is super haughty. thinks that the world only revolves around HERSELF. bumptious, all-self important, overbearing, high handed overweening lass..! she thinks that she is the only lassie on earth. no, the universe. and she'd LIKE to think that she is all high and mighty and important. urgh, cocky birdie. oh my gosh. to think WE ALL considered her as our friend, (only in the name). tho we do not ALWAYS reflect on it. but duh.. stil friend in the name right.

right, now i post a few rhectorical question to u guys whose reading this.
DO u bad mouth ur FRIENDS in ur PRELIMINARY EXAMS, ENGLISH PAPER ONE?
DO u act innocent when ur not and poiint the finger to UR SO CALLED FRIENDS?
DO u pretend that u are NOT in the wrong when u are instead of ur FRIENDS?
right. the answer is conspicuous. NO, thats right, N-O NO.

who in the name of Zeus does she think she is man? always ACTING so lackadaisical bout the on going stuffs around US (the world does not only consist of her, and would happily do without HER.). acting likePRETENDING that she's the only one whose above suspicion. always doing and saying stuffs that are inhuman.. doesnt she kno that she is inhospitable, to us that is.. well she isnt that mean to the GUYS in class and anywhere and any GUY. you see, she's in need of that pleasure which i got sick of. get a life gurl, NO ONE rely on guys anymore. so please dont go and chat up or vamp with any guy u see, esp the guys ur FRIEND's interested in. please, know ur limits. be more understanding towards URSELF. acting all so coquettish and flirty and kittenish and oh so come-hither.. like hello~? WE find it so abhorrencing lar.. repugnance. *yuck*

so what u passed ONE of the subjects we all failed? hur? hur? disparaging us eh. who do u think u are? or at least what RIGHTS do u think u have eh? u only PASSED ONE which unfortunately, we all failed. eh eh eh.. lets see.. i passed english and is considered one of the top few in class, wat have u got? heh! POA is one easy subject man. oh! im sorry, i think u failed it right? ohh.. pardon me, i didnt kno.. aww.. feeling super lousy already? well dont be, cos i havent finish wat imma gonna say. and imma gonna run u oh so down. (: altho, me and another FRIEND of urs failed amaths, at least we have a mark there tho its in red, it beats having one dash in the report card eh..? like indicating that u have dropped amaths. (: rightt, and lets see.. although im like number 28 in class, at least i dont go and vie for the bottom few places in class, u see, i dont have to, cos even if i try and vie for it, i'll still end up getting 20+ positions.. not that its very glamourous lar.. but it definitely sounds better then thirty something yeaa? haha! right.

qi, she thinks that its only the two of us detesting her. oh how innocent a thinking is that. cos duh not only US. but also the person whom she thinks is nice and all. but actually she's just about the same as me and qi lar ho wu gui tai? hehes.. anyway, not to spoil my day, just buzz off and go hide somewhere where we cannot see and will not be aware of. (not that we are enthu bout where she's off flirting or which other guy she has hooked up again. duh~ who in the world is interested man. well. except mushroom head and that round thing in class lar.. boo! shoo! outta my life u go. bah!

For More Information, Please Refer to:
http://qiqi89-hkss.blogspot.com
(which i believe will contain more specific incidents of HER bitching around and it'll be as interesting as what u've read here.)

Yours Truely,
Nicole. (:

[oh, wait!]




















I THINK THAT YOU ARE APPALLING.
DONT BE SUCH A LOSER JUST BECAUSE THERE'S NO ONE OUT THERE FANCYING U.
I MEAN, DONT WORRY, JUS ACCEPT ANY FUGLY LOOKING BLAGGOT.
(IF ANY COMES ALONG THAT IS.)
TRY AND KEEP UR PRESENT FRIENDS BY UR SIDE, COS I THINK THOSE THAT U INSIST ARE BETTER FRIENDS THEN WE ARE MIGHT JUST LEAVE U IN UR PATHETIC PLIGHT JUS LIKE THAT.

memories stays forever.

hmm.. rightt.. my previous posts are obviously, lost.. i mean.. i cannot bring them here.. maybe its a good thing. well.. start anew.. (:

start all over again. from scratch. from nth. frm lonliness. in side me, its empty. broken. empty. empty. empty. great. im empty. haha. yay! blank blank blank. im empty and blank. boo.. i dunnoe wat to blog. im empty.

hais.. nowhere to vent my frustrations. boo. vent it on mysef. yes. i should. haha. eh.. yesterday night sucked. bloody night man. stupid thunder. made me cry. boo. mark accompanied me lar.. but.. only till 11pm.. he had his girlfriend to accompany. im like.. jus another outcast. haha. mark is nice. no wonder i loved him so much. haha. eh i stil do kay. my kor kor. haha. i think. lol. he's mr nice guy. unlike some other ppl who.. asked me whether the stupid thunder freaked me out not and started laughing.. or the other which ignored me dat night. which was yesterday night. mark's nice. mark's nice. mark's nice. hmphs. stil asked me to be careful of slippery floor. unlike the others. called me a bitch. and the other who claimed e nvr let go. ): hmphs.

speaking of mark. yes. mr nice guy. he and gwen ok le.. well.. be it due to my persuades or what so ever reasons. sometimes i think dat imma real stupid fool or what.. why am i helping someone who broke my heart patch with someone who broke my relationship. am i really helping them or do i have some other motives? if i had any motives, wat are they? if i did not have any, then why? do i not remember that they hurt me so deep? i mean one my best friend, the other the guy i lovED. com'on girl. u kno they hurt u. why are u helping them? i thot u wished to see them die? i thot u wanted to break them up. why arent u doing so?

argh! damn it. i suck. i dont even kno wat i want. i dont even kno wat im doing. boo. girl girl ur such an ass..

right. now. i need no guys. im miss independent. cos guys are real jerks. big dorks. fat liars. they nvr keep promises. nvr ever ever. they lie. they pretend that they care when they dont. they make empty promises just so that they can break it. and they do it intentionally. they said they'd rather die den to make u cry. but i think they'll gladly die a hundred times to see u cry. they are saddistic asses who think that they are always right. guys sucks. (well except for those relly nice ones) they keep insisting that they didnt give up so that they can in turn hurt u deeper and much more painful. in conclusion, guys are egoistic shit and they are all the same - male chauvinist pigs. (which they deny that they arent).

done. now i feel a lil wee bit better. i still feel lousy. i have nobody.. boo. amen.