Outrageous.

my life.
has been really preposterous.
I cannot seem to ferret out why.
perhaps I havent been a good girl.
or probably i havent been praying.
conceivably, if i become a better person,
my life might take its turn for the better
presumptively, if i study harder,
if i help mummy with housework,
if i come home early everyday,
if i do every single homework given,
if i spend 24/7 studying and revising,
if i pray everyday before bed,
if i'd spent more time with God,
talking to him. asking him for help,
my life, wouldnt have turn out like this.

nada. im not emo.
just pondering bout what
is happening to my life.

and, BENJY,
thank you for..
listening to me whine
bout my outrageous life.
i suppose it's my turn
for my life to be an ass.
oh wells. hahaha.
i'll be okay.
NIC has always been
a strong girl
despite the tears
and antagonisms.
right? ((:

sighs, ENQI,
why ENQI why?
i just dont understand.

daddy's an ass lar.
mummy's a nag.
nick is a pain in my shit.
hhhhaaaaiiiissss.

i dont like to stay at home.
at least not recently.
its so darn boring at home.
and its so irritating being at home.
home. HAH.

sometimes, i wonder,
what happened to my
quiet time with God.
i know its my fault
that i havent got time
for God. nada nada.
if you ask me,
i got a whole shitload of
reasons. no. excuses.
why i havent been spending
time with God.

honestly arh,
i think im wasting my life away.
its either i keep on going out,
or i'll laze on bed doing nth at all.

oh wells.
i'd better start mugging
for promos thats impending
like in another two months.
why do i not feel the
obligation to start being
zealous and enthusiastic
bout mugging away like
all other hardworking people?

bahh.
i sleep so many hours a day.
why do i still feel so
lethargic day and night?
must be my lazy bones.
laugh my ass out. =D

i need people to make me
sit down with them and
start mugging and doing
all my long overdued
assignments. that includes,
chinese, lit, maths, econs.
well. i suppose its almost
every single subject bah.
argh. spare me the throes.

mummy'll prolly go
"you chose to go to MI,
you better make your decision
a good one. dont regret i tell you.
you better start working hard.
better start studying on your own.
dont stay outside all the time.
your a girl you know. keep
going out all the time, you
should stay at home and help
me with the housework and
study on your own at home."
yadayada. imma girl. i know.

ahh. mothers. they tend to
start and not stop. i wonder why.
goodness gracious me.
will i become like her in the
near future. oh please.
oh. mothers are good link-ers.
they can link every single thing up.
like from using too much computer,
to staying out all the time,
to not studying hard enough,
to not helping her do housework,
to sleeping too much all the time.
smartness. *take my hat off*

i realise my entries have been quite
lengthy of late. must be the
amount of pressure im under. =/