relieve.

lien's sleeping. i reckon i was talking to myself all the way.



[ ..nniiccooooLe-* ]] ;i'll remember you says:
sighs..
we had a good loong chat.
tho it felt good to know what i knew.
it kinda suck.
it left me thinking.
and i coulndnt find the answers.
he was..
holding on to something he refuses to let go i suppose.
so am i..
but we're both trying really hard not to show.
unfortunately, i saw thru him.
i wonder if he realises too.
he read my blog and he said alot of things.
i suppose he cried
while we were talking, i had this sudden feeling.
like i can sense he cried.
and i started crying too.
i couldnt help it,
i asked him if he was crying.
he didnt answer.
i suppose he did cry.
and i felt it.
sighs.
he told me a story.
of me and him i reckon.
ya i think its bout us.
he said i was the girl he'd ever loved.
and i was the girl he'll nvr get.
he asked if i've ever thought of one last night together.
to.. end off everything.
and..
i told him..
it already ended six days ago.
i so wanted that last night.
but im afraid i'll hug him so tight i refuse to let go.
im afraid to see him cry again.
im afraid i'll break down and cry.
im so proud of myself. tho i did cry, but..
i know these doesnt belong to me anymore.
that's why i've been acting so nonchalent.
or at least i tried to.
and i think he was disappointed to read that line.
it already ended six days ago.
i felt my heart break at that moment.
but i did feel relieved.
i told him not to cry for me. and us.
he said he's a real man. and real man dont cry.
i suppose he was putting up a strong front.
he doesnt know i can tell the difference.
he doesnt know alot of things.
like i know he loves carbonara.
he was shocked i knew.
so much for being his ex girlfriend.
sighs.
i dont know if i should feel like im a failure
or he should be the one.
but all in all.
this love i can nvr forget.
and i'll remember him.
i dont know if he feels the same way.
but.. it doesnt quite matter anymore.
if should come this day,
that he needed someone.
i think he should know i nvr left.

2:55am