sometimes, she just cant help it but to be very sensitive to certain areas of conversation. like the saying goes: once bitten, twice shy. and when she gets very sensitive to these topics, she'll feel so upset and useless. but be assured, she tries very very hard to not think about it. sometimes, it gets so overwhelming, she just feels like crying out loud.
she cannot love him if she doesnt first love herself. and loving herself would mean protecting herself, not letting her heart get hurt again and again. of cos she knows that he loves her a lot. by committing with him, she has already made herself put down all those hurts before. she tries so hard, in fact, too hard to not bother about what's upsetting and hurtful. but she really really dont want anymore heartbreaks, cos then her faith for love would be waay below zero. its really inevitable, not that she wants to you know.
she trusts him you know. so much, that she almost lose control over herself. its just that her words and her actions sometimes, dont.. match. its really not her fault.
she's sorry for making him cry, she's sorry for seemingly not trusting him. she's so sorry cos he loves her so much.
sighs. im sorry.
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