I've grown up. Yes. I have to agree.
it was only like yesterday when I entered Hong Kah Sec.. For the past four years, I've been thru a lot of laughters, tears and emotions. yes, i know we all did.
for many years, i've been loathing school. i think that school is such a waste of time, i find teachers irritating, i thought of the school guys lowly, i look down on the girls in school. but after sorting out my thoughts, nobody is perfect. yes i have to admit. even me, i am not perfect.
come to think of it, school is fun. hey, i love school. it is where i met my best friends. it is where i realise that teachers are not at all irritating. (some i mean) it is where i fall in love, it is where i fall outta love, it is where i realised how cruel reality is, it is where i realised good friends cannot be trusted. it is where i found my soul mate. it is where i shed my tears, it is where my laughters are heard.
now that i've completed my full four years, i cannot bear to part with my best friends, my teachers, my memories. sighs. how fast time really flies..
i know, as we go on, we will have to part. no matter what, we must part, cos each and every one of us have a different future awaiting for us ahead. we all have our individual paths. but deep down inside, we are still friends forever. (:
we wouldnt know who will become what in the future. who knows enqi might become a big lawyer. would hui fen become a renowed fashion designer? i dunnoe. we all dont know. haha. the future is a great mystery. we really have no idea. sighs.
i hate to part, but what else can i do but to abide reality? i cant possibly go against reality and fate. but i know, we will still be friends forever. aww* i hate to part, i am afraid i might shed my tears.. i am afraid to leave my memories..
And i also know.. i know that by leaving Hong Kah, i might olso lose Him. chances of us meeting will be lesser.. chances of us getting together is even slimmer.. chances of us becoming close friends are shattered.. chances of my dreams coming true are smashed..all i can and know is that i'll be sitting alone, realising how foolish am i, regretting on my indecisive-ness..
but if i were to confess my feelings for Him, im afraid i'll lose a friend. im afraid he might turn and walk away, then i'll sit alone, cursing my impulsive mind, blaming my daring self.
by falling for Him, i've put myself in a huge dilemma. what am i to do? sighs. somebody please, tell me what to do. am i to wait on?
sometimes, i really wish i could fast forward time, to see in the end, if it is all worth it.. perhaps God, u could come to me in my dreams, and tell me if it is all worth it.
if i had any special powers, i would want to be able to freeze time. and i'll stop the time here. this moment, this very moment. freeze my memories and keep it in a capsule.. oh well. im off to play ma game. till next time~! ((:
p.s im still falling for u. ((:
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