sighs.

This Is When My Heartaches Begins.

sighs.. i dunnoe wat i am.. i am captivated.. but at the same time totally desolated. well.. mayb not totally.. but.. stil desolated.. its all happening again.. sighs.. how despairing.. boo hoo.. am i not pitiful enough? must i go tru this over and over again.. boo.. things are jus not going smoothly for me wen it comes to this. i wonder why..

u kno.. when u like a person.. or maybe even love, it doesnt mean that u have to be with him. it jus mean that u wont leave. its good enough to kno that he's happy and contented. (: i kno. i've been thru this too many a times.. i've seen things like this happening.. to me and my friends. i'll jus have to smile and get over it. yeh? i mean it's totally useless to hold on to something that u kno will nvr happen aight.. (: i've learnt. i've grown up. its not hard at all. or at least i wan it to be easy. love doesnt always come my way.. it came and i didnt cherish it til i lost it. and its no use looking back ya.. i kno. well.. at least my cousin told me. [: im ohkai..

stil, im captivated. happy to see him. and of cos, his smiles. totally mezmorised. haha. well.. u kno.. we're all stil friends and that is wat matters most ya? sighs.

its all jus plain self-comforting. sighs. that is the least i can do to pull myself outta this whole messed up shit im in. what esle can i do? cry? hohoho. no way am i gonna cry for no good reasons. haha. it sucks to cry lar. sighs. i've had enough. at least he's there. haha. like wat they say.. absence breeds fondness.. (: if we're meant to be.. we'll be. [:

but i do kno myself. like hello, when i say i like him, it doesnt mean he must too. he probably alr has that someone in his heart. haha. im not the kittenish kind. [unlike some one else we all kno] haha. rightt. im not s thick skinned anyway.. perhaps i'll jus wait.. well.. for.. him to like me.. or maybe for the infactuation to die off slowly. fade would be a nicer word tho.

and yes, i do appreciate the stupid things u guys have done. haha. tho it could be soooo irritating at times.. haha.. but yes.. i kno.. be it teasing or helping.. it was nice.. haha. i have to admit lar. its no good to lie. (: and i dont lie. yes. i dont. haha. eh, im tinking rightt, that it might have been u guys who'd been trying to be funny, that made him think that, well. make him realised i kinda like him and stuffs.. u kno.. boo.. now im sadeded. haha. jkjk.

these, are the chronicles in my life. it jus keeps repeating and repeating tho. like its an endless circle, in which im trapped in perpetually. haha. ok. it sounds a bit to exaggerating tho. haha. mayb i'll get out, the day when the one i've been yearning for enters. mayb i'll be stuck perpetually, god knows..

boo. right. enough of the desolating stuffs. not like its not screwed up enough.. haha. rightt. today was fun. wanna kno why? heehee. who try and figure it out. (: (: (: (: (:

theres a picture of u in my mind. =)