Tear Drops On My Guitar

Yesterday was like a dream, a sweet sweet dream. One that I'll never forget.

Birthdays are cursed, at least mine are. Yesterday was a hoax, with lots of strings attached. My birthdays were never this happy, it was foreboding today. Yeah, it must be.

"From here on, there's no turning back, for your happiness."
He hit me at my weakest, I couldn't make a come back, there was nothing i could say, nothing would come from my mouth. He hit me spot on, I broke down.

For my happiness? There won't be any, the factor affecting my happiness is gone.

Birthday wishes never come true, I had no idea what was happening to me when i made them this year. Even the heart in Jilly, the one i rubbed with my palms, closed my eyes and made that wish. I'd give every other wish up for the one in Jilly. I swear, I promise. Silly me, wishes never come true.

I've been hugging Jilly the moment we started arguing, hoping that things will take a turn and everything to be alright again. Lol, I was the cause of today, why am I ranting?

This heart hurts so much, it's as if it wasn't willing to pump anymore blood for me. It's like refusing to do what it's supposed to do, it's starting to contract and contract and contract and contract.. I can't breathe. It's suffocating me, like it's bent on taking my life.

I took a look at Jilly and Yilong, they're not smiling anymore. They look like they've just cried, with blood shot and droopy eyes. Once upon a time, they had life within them, they could smile and talk to me. But today, they look dead, no movements, no smiles, they aren't talking to me anymore. They are like stuffed toys now. They have lost their purposes, like how I've lost mine.

I jolly well know that this post is going to invite nonames to go on a tongue wagging spree. I also know that he'll not do anything, what's more, I'm on my own now. Despite all these, I'm still typing my heart out. Allowing you to eat my heart out. You know why, because all these don't matter no more.

For here's the reason for the tear drops on my guitar:
I refuse to move on.
I hope that Jilly will keep that heart beating.