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today's entry

Hello all,

Dilemma.

I'm thinking of going back to LJ permenantly, but then I cannot bear to shut this space. Maybe I won't blog here as often, then what's the use of this blog thereafter? Darn, I don't know what to do. Maybe I'd lock this space up, but that'll do a lot of trouble for YOU. Hmm..

P.S not forgetting about my secret place. Shh..
P.P.S I'm loving my mom's new HP laptop. Woots, I can't wait for mine! lol.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

to every planet and back, i love you.

I'd lie down beside you and watch as the time flies by. <3

I dont know what's so special/weird/wrong about today, but here's what happened:

Hun and I went to gramps this afternoon, made orange juice and drank it fresh. Remember the Marigold advert, the one about "any fresher, you'll have to peel itt yourself"? Our orange juice was super fresh and sweet, lovely.

And about half an hour later we cabbed to Defu Lane. For what? For seafood of course! I have pictures, but it's all pictures of half eaten, if not, empty plates. Because there was Brother and Cousin, they were like monsters on famine for the longest time.

(This portion is for Furball)
We had steamed fish, 3 eggs veggie, butter cheese crab, chicken stock crab, honey glazed pork ribs, cereal prawns, minced meat tofu. I think there was more, I cannot remember. :D

I only managed to take a picture of the Honey Glazed Pork Ribs, when it was served. The rest, was quickly devoured by the two monsters on famine.

I find it weird cos today's no special occassion, but we're eating good. :D Baby was guessing the total bill of our dinner. Dinner for 9 people, each crab was $32 plus the cost of the other dishes. He made it out to be about $200+, I thought it shouldn't be that much though. Anyways, it was Aunt Joanne and Uncle Gary's treat! :D

The mass of words below are just some rantings, you can ignore em' if you want. :)

After which, my aunt gave us 20 bucks to cab home from Defu Lane. So we decided to cab to Woodlands to drop Baby off first then head home. The journey from Defu Lane to Woodlands was $14, all was well until i realised that the cabbie uncle was circling around Sembawang/Yishun. It turned out that he went the wrong way. I calculated, he circled inside Sembawang/Yishun for about $10 of the meter fare. And then went all the way back to Hun's house that area. Then he finally firgured the way to my house. So we were on the normal route home, until he took a turn at Cooperation Road. I asked him, "uncle why you exit at Cooperation, St 91 is exit from Pioneer North". Obviously, he was trying his luck again. So by the time we reached my house, the meter fare was $33. The normal price from Woodlands to my house is supposedly to be $12 WITH 35% and the initial $2.80. He thought for a while and said, "aiyah, $28 lah." He gotta be kidding me right? All I said was "Actually it's $25." Handed him the money and got off the cab.

Stupid cabbie uncles, don't know the way say don't know luh. zzz.

Oh, I just finished eating durians. Daddy bought home two durians, yummy! :D

The thought of tomorrow being a Monday kills my cells. Omg, I haven't even done my Econs essays. Zzz. Can anyone please remind me why I'm starting to dread the coming of tomorrow?

On a much lighter note: 26 more days to our 2nd. <3

Only six pictures

Okay, only six pictures. If you'd like to see more, please visit Cassie's or the Volleyballgirl's. Not alot, but because it's our shoot, we're entitled to all the 400+ pictures we took, and you don't! :D

Maybe I'm starting to understand.

Maybe I'm starting to understand.

Why the relationship between my mummy and me is so different from my friend's relationship with their mummy. Why Jack can joke around his mummy and not get scolded, why my girlfriends' can go shopping with their mummy and why their mummy understands them so damn well. Why my dad is never around, why I don't adore him like I used to anymore.

I came to a conclusion for my strained relationship with my parents. There are several factors actually.

Since mummy and daddy were really busy with their jobs, I remember living with my paternal grandparents, uncles and aunts ever since I was old enough to know what's happening around me. I'm always closer to my grandparents, I've prolly never really come into close contact with my parents or my baby brother then, since he's always at my maternal grandparents' side.

(and this is how the strained relationship between me and my maternal side came about. They all favoured brother since he's been spending half his life there, and half my life was spent at my paternal side, naturally they'd love me more than brother.)

Until when I was in K2, I was claimed back to stay with my parents and brother in our Jurong flat (in which I've spent my past 14 years and counting in.) But still, I'll always look forward to spend my whole holidays staying over at my gramp's. Every school holiday, without fail.

(Bedok Reservoir was where my childhood was shaped and formed. I still remember this friend whom I made from 2 floors on top of mine. He'd come over to my house and we would start playing pretend. Bedok Reservoir was also where I had my first chicken pocks and all the other weird, but special memories took place.)

For my mummy, she's always the one scolding and punishing brother and I since we were young. She's always the one disciplining us, making us kneel infront of the altar and at the corridor. She's forever seen equipped with the stupid cane in her hands, and she's always shouting and screaming. I never liked her, and very often than not, I'll keep thinking to myself if I could exchange mothers with my cousins and friends. I really hated her a whole lot, I hated her for not giving me freedom and trust and all the other things that a teenager would ask for.

And as for my dad, I've always have had a perfect picture of him in my head. He's always been the one protecting me from my mum's cannings and scoldings. Pampering me with everything he can give me, driving me to school and going overseas together. He's never raised his voice or hands at me, even when my report card's all red and bloody. He would go overseas for business trips and come back with presents, placing it beside my bed and when I wake up, I'll smile. All was good, until he quit his job and kept changing jobs. I didn't show any displease, cos afterall he's my dad, and maybe he has his difficulties. But on an unfateful day, I started to realise that he's constantly chatting with this China woman online, saying cheesy stuffs and flirting and all. I kept quiet all these time, until I can finally suppress no more. I shouted at him, and he slapped me. For the first time in my entire 18 years of life. I started ignoring him and pretending that he is non-exsistant.

My teenage years was spent in such a way that whenever the issue of parents arises, I was the first one to shun away from it. If I was forced to make a comment, tears would form in my eyes. Yes it was that hard, I refused to believe that that was all that we've become. I hated life. I questioned God.

Benjy helped me through this pharse in my life. He was God Sent, he knew every way possible to make me smile. He was the best gift i've ever recieved. Although it was short, but undeniably, he's walked me through that dark moment in my life. Those were the days I had when I was in Secondary 3 and 4.

Then came last year, everything had to repeat itself again. And I earnestly thank God for bestowing Jack upon me. Jack held tight my hands and carried me through the shittiest moments, and the roughest days. He was always there to make me feel at ease, and make me really happy like i used to be. I'll love Jack until I can love no more. (:

---

Just 2 hours earlier, I asked my mum if she can come down to the bus stop and fetch me upstairs. She asked me for a reason why I couldn't go up myself. And I told her that the volleygirls were sharing ghost stories just now and I'm afraid and paranoid. And she started shouting, then ask them to bring you up lah. So I immediately hung up, and at that moment, I wasn't scared anymore, I was more than sad. I thought I felt tears forming in my eyes, and it struck me to post an entry about this, so here it is.

After all these years, I'm just starting to understand what I could never have fathomed when I was younger. At the age of 19, I really envy people who can feel like friends when their with their parents. It's something that I will never be able to achieve, even if I've managed to make big bucks and gain fame and respect. I'll not have this as a part of my life, it's really near impossible. This is one of the many things money cannot buy. Kinship.


Good bye.

*P.S I'm not emo, I'm not sad. I have Jack. :D

twentythree, onemoretotwo (:

I secretly think that my Internet connection is having her menses now, it's PMSing like no body's business. Either that, or it's entering her menopausal period. It's crazy i tell you.

anyways, training was boring until when coach came back. But it was still a lil boring. i am aching everywhere, every possible inch you can find muscles on, it's bound to be aching. roarr.

I am very lazy to blog.

I spoke to Baby :D :D
I spoke to benjy :D
I spoke to mel :D

oh, dum dee dum dee dum dum. :D I dont know why im so happy today, must be jack. :D

*and to that girl, whose boyfriend passed away in Brunei. it's not easy, but im sure you'll do fine (: I'll be keeping you in my prayers. (:

same old sequential, mundane shit

Hello all, here's a guide for you on how to survive the long bulleted post below. Please do Selective Reading, just like how I churned this post out by Selective Typing. Enjoy.

1. Monday blues just hits me in the head, made me feel really drowsy throughout the day.
2. Monday is the longest day in the week although Thursday is just as long, it isn't as bad.
3. Last week felt like the longest week ever.
4. Doodles helped me pass my long Monday.
5. Hunny came over for a nap at my house after school, slept all the way til 7PM. Lol!
6. Had dinner with mummy when we woke up downstairs and all that pool ball joke. Tsk.
7. I hate Mondays, they're too long and insufferable.
8. Oh, I finally can come online after days of trying to connect to the stupid Internet.
9. Furball bought me sweets from Muji, yet again.
10. I do realise that this is becoming a mass of random bulleted points instead of what it was meant to be. What was it meant to be anyways?
11. I'm sick of my DS Lite already. Zzz, new games please?
12. Tmr's Kangoo again, I'm gonna have stinky feet again. Zzz.
13. It's been a long time since we've seen photos up here, haven't we?
14. I would post up photos from the photo shoot, but I'm too hungry lazy to re size them properly, so you're not gonna see it. But it's really nice, ask the other 4 girls. :)

• Note to self: Bring the longest socks I can find at home. Zzz.
• Another note to self: Bring the DVDs for Ger and Apple.
• Okay, one more note to self: Look for the new game Amira recommended. :)
• Last note to self: Say something nice to Jack before I sleep. :D

I want more Coloured Pens/Markers. :D

To my sweet Furball (:

to nicole:
thank you for being there for me this year, if it weren’t for you life in 07a1 would be a torture. the funny times, sweet times, indian donkey times, oil barrel times, and many more times, you’ve been a rainbow to me and love. i truly am thankful of you being my friend, sweet as sugar. you never fail to notice my emotions, like when i’d cried you could tell just from one look. love came up to me during buffet yesterday saying you felt i was upset, that’s when i decided to dedicate this post to you, for the past 7 months and the many more to come. lets make it thru this yr and go for more buffets to LOSE weight. hahahah. <3

Furball's sucha sweet flabbie. (:

I'm glad I've come to know you better too! and not to forget the Donkress, for all his lost-the-his-moments. Yes all the food dates, movie dates, the cheesy toy catching machine, the stupid words moment, and more food dates, ugly eeyore moments, PSP moments, DS Lite moments, "mugging" moments, shopping times and more food dates. Thank you for the "youtiaos" and (here comes my favourite) the"humchimpaaaaaaaangs" for breakfast almost everyday. Lol, you've brighten our lives too Slivita (:

You're like the coloured markers in our Roxy pencil case.

Thinking back on the things we did together in the past 7 months, it reminded me that WE HAVEN'T BEEN TO IKEA FOR A LONG TIME. Roflmao.

We're like the gay-est foursome you can ever find Happy Four Friends, beat that. Lol.

Okay, byebye.

P.S What's our next buffet gonna be? LOL.
P.P.S I've seen the side of Slev Sliv no one else has. [Except for Anita and Jack of cos!] Give me $50 and I'll tell you a little bit. Hey Oily, I'd give you discount, one barrel of oil for 5 stupid things he did. lolololol.

blog war?

Her eating style? Her blogging style? Her blog url?

Oh please, she's too extravagant for me to imitate. Rofl. Might as well say I copied her choice of school, her type of boyfriend, her talking styles, her making out preferences, her shitting styles? Roflmao.

Besides, she's too affluent for me. I'm sorry, I do not match up with your too-much-money-anyhow-spend-and-show-off styles.

P.S staring at me doesn't make me afraid of you, i'm not yasmin. (:
P.P.S Boyfriend, it seems like our opinions of her just went down by a few thousand notches, yet again.

For every war, there'll be peace that comes with it at the end.
P.S I still cannot find that post which started everything. zzz. Oh wells.

a post just for you :)

Sometimes, problems need immediate remedies. And the root of the problem needs to identify itself being the bitch, so as to aid in faster resolution.

So if you have a problem with me, come to me and confront me face to face. Please, don't be chickens and ask this person, ask that person. Urgh, so disgusting. *Rolls eyes.

P/S Leave my friends out of it, you won't get anything from them.

P/P/S Not to mention that I didn't even mention names. Hmmm.

P/P/P/S Sometimes, I just blog about random and general things that comes to my mind. By reacting and taking action to whatsoever I mentioned proves you guilty. (:

One last thing: I find it very disturbing, I've changed links and have not told anyone much about the change, yet some desperate people still managed to find this space, read every single post and got themselves angered. Weird people, I must say. Lol?

wow

I have to claim my prizes, I want to be a millionaire!

ROFLMAO.

WARNING!

PLEASE DO NOT CLICK HERE

OR HERE

CAUTION! DO NOT CLICK HERE EITHER.

Okay, lame. Byebye!

Oh yes, I think that some cliques in school are fucking disgusting? One of them is a really fat girl, who thinks that she's really hot and pretty and all, so damn confident of herself, making people throw up. Despite that, she's acting like a bitch, attempted to mock at meek girls, trying to be THE popular girls in school. Appalling, don't you think? Not to mention, the whole clique is like a flock of queen bitches, laughing and mocking at others, forgetting all about Karma. Hmm, thumbs up for such overwhelming confidence and support for each other. Even the one who wasn't happy about her ex-boyfriend saga, maybe she should learn that staring isn't right.

P/S If you managed to guess them right, good for you (:

M.O.S (:

Alright, overdued MOS pictures. Blame the connection. Phffts!

Psst! Over there at the secret place. Shh!

Flyyy!

Photographer: Jace Tan (:

Thursday's shoot was fun! This is one of the many photos we shot. (: Okay byebye!

CLEO SWIMSUIT SHOOT (:

Okay i admit, i snagged ALL, but am only able to put these few up because IM LAZY.
For more pictures, please click here. (:

P.S I manually resized the photos, it's sucha chore. phffts.

Cleo Swimsuit Shoot

Found these on Stomp, pardon the shitty quality. (:

And these people, are the one's who beat us. They are called the Destructive Divas. We all can see why, can't we? Hmm. They are also in the pictures beside our team above.


If it weren't for them, we'd won for ourselves a trip to Phuket. Damn.

Okay Bahbye.