Emotional Note To Self

Daughter: My sandals broke in the middle of the shopping mall, so embarrassing.
Mom: What time are you coming home? Don't give me crap.

Maybe this is why I dislike my mother, a lot. Other girls at my age usually have problems with their boyfriend's mother, I can simply name a handful right now. But I have problems with my mother. Mother and I, we're never really close. Because the way I was brought up, it forbids all the friendly connections, the heart to heart talks and whatnot. Honestly speaking, I don't regret this at all. There's nothing much to be upset about. Dysfunctional families, I've seen way too many. It's too common in our society right now or even back then in the early 60s, I don't know. So much so that about 3 or 4 out of my 5 Literature textbooks require me to examine such broken families. Fasting, Feasting and Fistful Of Colors are apt examples.

In all, you can say that I have a mother who doesn't love me at all favors my brother more than me cannot offer me anything more but concern. Well, you can just say that I have a mother.

I just want to fast forward the next 2 to 3 years of my life here, in this crazy sunny island. Then I'll go away, and never come back. I hate the life I have here, it's torturing in every ways. Oh, you probably don't know how badly I want to leave, because your life is pretty awesome right now, with your awesome mother who's like a sister to you, and your bunch of crazy girlfriends who'd stick with you come what may, and life treating you like you're queen.



I. Just. Want. To. Leave.