starvation is here

Hello,

Baby and I have decided to starve for the next 7 months, so as to buy me a laptop. So i guess it'll be lesser of buffets, lesser of the occasional shopping for us now. :(

Plus, the coming Sitex and the next PC and IT shows. I hope we'll take less than 7 months to get my laptop. :(

Let's hope that it'll be worth the while.

P.S bloody hell, I need to retake the fucking BTT.

<3s,
Nicole :))

colourful sweet peas :)

(Picture credits to allnthistogethr :D)

Have i told you that David Cook has the most wonderful voice?

The songs he sang are all so fantabulous. Every song okay, every single song!

I can't wait for his album to be released, then I can download buy it!

Always be my baby is so perfect, Music of the night is just splendid, aww, great.

I'd run away with David Cook, listen to him sing all day, on a deserted island.

Okay, I'm done with the obssession.

Baby and I have no where to go today, and this feeling sucks.

We're thinking of going to my Gramps today instead,

cos Baby has a big match tmr and cannot make it to Gramps.

I like the way how each line is coloured differently.

It makes me happy reading it, I'm sure it made you happy too!

Oh yes, not forgetting how I'm in love with my colour pencils!

I'm so done with markers now, they run outta ink too soon! >:(

Dad'll be going over to Thailand some time next week,

I'm still comtemplating if Baby and I should go too.

Cos Promos are like a stone throw away. Boo! :(

It'd be a great shopping and getaway trip I believe.

We'll see how mugging gets along before the trip nears.

You are not allowed to comment on the layout of this post.

Just because I said so, that means that you shut up. Lol.

I've got nothing more to say for now, will be back soon.

Goodbye. :D

rainbow (?)

I figured that today is not a day auspicious enough to create my fanciful blog post, hence this skimpy update.

okay, come on everybody, support http://www.moomoocoow.blogspot.com/ .

Four designers of all time has gathered and discussed about establishing Tuffёb™. Please watch this space for updates regarding their designer tees.

Nicey(lol) has requested for an update, but I have no idea what to update about. Shit, I think I've lost the vibe to blog. Maybe this space should close. Hmm.

Baby and I had this stupid fit just now. And now he's not talking to me. Oh wells, just as well.

Basket, I feel like watching Crayon Shin Chan, but I don't know where to watch it. Crunchyroll doesn't have it! >:(

And yes I think that this arrangement is so very cool, so stfu you.

I miss Mel, Greg and Benjy. and a whole lot of people, i hope they're doing well. (:

Okay, byebye.

update

merry christmas?

silly games

Okay, byebye.

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Do support (:

today's entry

Hello all,

Dilemma.

I'm thinking of going back to LJ permenantly, but then I cannot bear to shut this space. Maybe I won't blog here as often, then what's the use of this blog thereafter? Darn, I don't know what to do. Maybe I'd lock this space up, but that'll do a lot of trouble for YOU. Hmm..

P.S not forgetting about my secret place. Shh..
P.P.S I'm loving my mom's new HP laptop. Woots, I can't wait for mine! lol.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

to every planet and back, i love you.

I'd lie down beside you and watch as the time flies by. <3

I dont know what's so special/weird/wrong about today, but here's what happened:

Hun and I went to gramps this afternoon, made orange juice and drank it fresh. Remember the Marigold advert, the one about "any fresher, you'll have to peel itt yourself"? Our orange juice was super fresh and sweet, lovely.

And about half an hour later we cabbed to Defu Lane. For what? For seafood of course! I have pictures, but it's all pictures of half eaten, if not, empty plates. Because there was Brother and Cousin, they were like monsters on famine for the longest time.

(This portion is for Furball)
We had steamed fish, 3 eggs veggie, butter cheese crab, chicken stock crab, honey glazed pork ribs, cereal prawns, minced meat tofu. I think there was more, I cannot remember. :D

I only managed to take a picture of the Honey Glazed Pork Ribs, when it was served. The rest, was quickly devoured by the two monsters on famine.

I find it weird cos today's no special occassion, but we're eating good. :D Baby was guessing the total bill of our dinner. Dinner for 9 people, each crab was $32 plus the cost of the other dishes. He made it out to be about $200+, I thought it shouldn't be that much though. Anyways, it was Aunt Joanne and Uncle Gary's treat! :D

The mass of words below are just some rantings, you can ignore em' if you want. :)

After which, my aunt gave us 20 bucks to cab home from Defu Lane. So we decided to cab to Woodlands to drop Baby off first then head home. The journey from Defu Lane to Woodlands was $14, all was well until i realised that the cabbie uncle was circling around Sembawang/Yishun. It turned out that he went the wrong way. I calculated, he circled inside Sembawang/Yishun for about $10 of the meter fare. And then went all the way back to Hun's house that area. Then he finally firgured the way to my house. So we were on the normal route home, until he took a turn at Cooperation Road. I asked him, "uncle why you exit at Cooperation, St 91 is exit from Pioneer North". Obviously, he was trying his luck again. So by the time we reached my house, the meter fare was $33. The normal price from Woodlands to my house is supposedly to be $12 WITH 35% and the initial $2.80. He thought for a while and said, "aiyah, $28 lah." He gotta be kidding me right? All I said was "Actually it's $25." Handed him the money and got off the cab.

Stupid cabbie uncles, don't know the way say don't know luh. zzz.

Oh, I just finished eating durians. Daddy bought home two durians, yummy! :D

The thought of tomorrow being a Monday kills my cells. Omg, I haven't even done my Econs essays. Zzz. Can anyone please remind me why I'm starting to dread the coming of tomorrow?

On a much lighter note: 26 more days to our 2nd. <3

Only six pictures

Okay, only six pictures. If you'd like to see more, please visit Cassie's or the Volleyballgirl's. Not alot, but because it's our shoot, we're entitled to all the 400+ pictures we took, and you don't! :D

Maybe I'm starting to understand.

Maybe I'm starting to understand.

Why the relationship between my mummy and me is so different from my friend's relationship with their mummy. Why Jack can joke around his mummy and not get scolded, why my girlfriends' can go shopping with their mummy and why their mummy understands them so damn well. Why my dad is never around, why I don't adore him like I used to anymore.

I came to a conclusion for my strained relationship with my parents. There are several factors actually.

Since mummy and daddy were really busy with their jobs, I remember living with my paternal grandparents, uncles and aunts ever since I was old enough to know what's happening around me. I'm always closer to my grandparents, I've prolly never really come into close contact with my parents or my baby brother then, since he's always at my maternal grandparents' side.

(and this is how the strained relationship between me and my maternal side came about. They all favoured brother since he's been spending half his life there, and half my life was spent at my paternal side, naturally they'd love me more than brother.)

Until when I was in K2, I was claimed back to stay with my parents and brother in our Jurong flat (in which I've spent my past 14 years and counting in.) But still, I'll always look forward to spend my whole holidays staying over at my gramp's. Every school holiday, without fail.

(Bedok Reservoir was where my childhood was shaped and formed. I still remember this friend whom I made from 2 floors on top of mine. He'd come over to my house and we would start playing pretend. Bedok Reservoir was also where I had my first chicken pocks and all the other weird, but special memories took place.)

For my mummy, she's always the one scolding and punishing brother and I since we were young. She's always the one disciplining us, making us kneel infront of the altar and at the corridor. She's forever seen equipped with the stupid cane in her hands, and she's always shouting and screaming. I never liked her, and very often than not, I'll keep thinking to myself if I could exchange mothers with my cousins and friends. I really hated her a whole lot, I hated her for not giving me freedom and trust and all the other things that a teenager would ask for.

And as for my dad, I've always have had a perfect picture of him in my head. He's always been the one protecting me from my mum's cannings and scoldings. Pampering me with everything he can give me, driving me to school and going overseas together. He's never raised his voice or hands at me, even when my report card's all red and bloody. He would go overseas for business trips and come back with presents, placing it beside my bed and when I wake up, I'll smile. All was good, until he quit his job and kept changing jobs. I didn't show any displease, cos afterall he's my dad, and maybe he has his difficulties. But on an unfateful day, I started to realise that he's constantly chatting with this China woman online, saying cheesy stuffs and flirting and all. I kept quiet all these time, until I can finally suppress no more. I shouted at him, and he slapped me. For the first time in my entire 18 years of life. I started ignoring him and pretending that he is non-exsistant.

My teenage years was spent in such a way that whenever the issue of parents arises, I was the first one to shun away from it. If I was forced to make a comment, tears would form in my eyes. Yes it was that hard, I refused to believe that that was all that we've become. I hated life. I questioned God.

Benjy helped me through this pharse in my life. He was God Sent, he knew every way possible to make me smile. He was the best gift i've ever recieved. Although it was short, but undeniably, he's walked me through that dark moment in my life. Those were the days I had when I was in Secondary 3 and 4.

Then came last year, everything had to repeat itself again. And I earnestly thank God for bestowing Jack upon me. Jack held tight my hands and carried me through the shittiest moments, and the roughest days. He was always there to make me feel at ease, and make me really happy like i used to be. I'll love Jack until I can love no more. (:

---

Just 2 hours earlier, I asked my mum if she can come down to the bus stop and fetch me upstairs. She asked me for a reason why I couldn't go up myself. And I told her that the volleygirls were sharing ghost stories just now and I'm afraid and paranoid. And she started shouting, then ask them to bring you up lah. So I immediately hung up, and at that moment, I wasn't scared anymore, I was more than sad. I thought I felt tears forming in my eyes, and it struck me to post an entry about this, so here it is.

After all these years, I'm just starting to understand what I could never have fathomed when I was younger. At the age of 19, I really envy people who can feel like friends when their with their parents. It's something that I will never be able to achieve, even if I've managed to make big bucks and gain fame and respect. I'll not have this as a part of my life, it's really near impossible. This is one of the many things money cannot buy. Kinship.


Good bye.

*P.S I'm not emo, I'm not sad. I have Jack. :D