Repeat after me.

2011-02-17T00:42:00.002+08:00

ohdaisies.wordpress.com

It never ends.

2011-02-14T14:31:00.002+08:00

I thought whatever happened back then was because I was being a bitch, a difficult friend/person. I thought that coming to SIM would change that, new approach to life, to school and to making friends. A clean slate basically.

Well, apparently not so, it follows me, no matter where I end up. People tend to judge me before getting to know me. People already bitching about me before talking to me at all. And to think that I honestly thought that the problem was me. I guess not.

People seem to be intimidated by me, and my clique of friends. So much so that they need to be bitching, and laughing. Not that I care really, I used to care, then I thought that it wasn't my fault, so why should I give a shit, right?

I really should start to get used to people talking shit about me and my friends all the time.

Haters gon' hate,

bitches be crazy,

right?

Once upon a long long time ago.

2011-02-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

Phone rings*

Answered the phone

Boy: Hey, look outside your window.

Girl looks out, and sees Boy downstairs with his bicycle.

Girl: Omg, what are you doing here?!

Boy: To eat with you, come down baby.

2011-02-12T16:21:00.002+08:00

I stumbled upon...

2011-02-11T00:56:00.001+08:00

My old Friendster account. And all the pictures inside, are to be burnt and never be seen. Besides embarrassing pictures, there are pictures like these:

Jack and the Volleygirls were my life. McFly on the green post it, ah classic.

Man I fell in love with. ♥ Wah, so hot and sexy can? Would totally tap that. Hahahahaha.

Why you no talk to me =/

2011-02-10T22:37:00.003+08:00

Pent up inside.

2011-02-10T18:58:00.000+08:00

I'm annoyed because:

it's her.
he'll never meet me just for dinner, on a night out.
it's just the two of them.
they barely spoke to each other in school, now want to come have dinner all.
I'm a jealous bitch
I never met a guy just to have dinner.
she likes to borrow other people's boyfriends.
he's not replying me, or maybe I didn't reply.
he ruined my day.
it's her.

Don't come and act friendly with me all after the obvious fact that you didn't liked me very much, then now come and dinner with my boyfriend.

Cold War.

COMS ESSAY IS A KILLER.

2011-02-07T21:44:00.000+08:00

Incest, why would people do things like that?

2011-02-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

Man had consensual sex with daughter.

Seriously? Why are things like these happening? Who would agree to sleep with her father? Unless her father is Kaka, or Beckhams, or Lampard, or Ian Somerhalder, or Ed Westwick. What is wrong with these people? What's worst is that the daughter used this incident to blackmail her father because she cannot go overseas to study. Got her father arrested, and jailed. Now she's in deep shit too. She no brain, or what? WHO WOULD SLEEP WITH HER FATHER? WHO? Goodness. Something is wrong with her brain, values, morals, brain and brain.

Writer's block: When your imaginary friends refuse to talk to you.

2011-02-05T01:37:00.001+08:00

Why, why, why does this always happens when I'm trying to finish my work? I have so many points, but it's just not coming out. I need to complete 1000 words, and all I've done is 6.2%, oh yes, I calculated the percentage of work I completed. Because nothing intellectual is being done, I feel super annoyed I need to punch somebody's stupid face. I'm trying to rant in hope that after all these frustrations are out, intelligent things will flow and hence completing the other 93.8% of my work. I would rant to the people who asked me to rant at them, but I shall not be a burden. Ranting here is as good, no? They will eventually read it, I guess. Doesn't matter. I think I'm just crazy tired after all the visiting today. Why do I still gotta visit some more tomorrow, and on Sunday. Why so many people to visit? Why can't they just post the red packets to my address? Why so many distractions online? Why Tumblr always suck me in when I need to do work? I keep getting distracte...

I'M WEAK. MOTHERFUCKING WEAK.

2011-02-04T00:37:00.002+08:00

LDR

2011-02-04T00:19:00.001+08:00

I have no faith in myself. Why so painful? Zzz

Meltz my heartxzxzx

2011-02-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

I'm sucha sucker for guys like this. Awesome voice, plays instruments really well, and looks handsome. But the thing about guys like these, is that they are always gay. What a waste. I'm pretty simple actually, totally swooned when guys start singing to me. Hahahaha.

Self Introduction

2011-02-01T22:23:00.001+08:00

I know I could have added in some music, but I'm lazy like that.

So, bite me.

Finally.

2011-02-01T16:32:00.001+08:00

Hi, so I've decided to make today clear-out-my-shelves day. I thought it'll be easy, just throw out everything since it's been there for so long and I've barely took a second look at the things on the shelves. Right? Just throw. But... I'm sucha sentimental person, I started to find things like:

A photograph of Mother and I in Brisbane when I was in primary 5/6(?) That is a real Koala by the way, heavy like a cow, smelly like pig's crap, claws sharp like eagle's clutches. Oh, farmer's hat and fake long braids there. SAILOR MOON JEANS. No shit, i was such a cute girl. //wrists

Told you the long braids were fake. Hahahahaha. I had mad short hair, like boy short.

2008 school diary. Pimped to the max. About 2 years into the relationship with Jack, still very much obsessed with Jack, which you'll come to realize later when you see the contents. Crazy over doodled post it notes all over. Obsession with ladybugs and strawberry pocky.

30th August 2008. Picture says it all. No idea what was with the silly stickers.

Here's a typical page of out my 2008 school diary. I had fun reading all the crazy, silly things in there. 2008 was one helluva year for me, I prolly won't realize it if I didn't chance upon this school diary.

07A1(2008) The year I retained in year 2. Class photos. Spot me. Not sure if you can click to enlarge, no harm trying though. Oh and, I wasn't always this fair and fat. Back then I was pretty tanned and quite skinny. Okay, very skinny compared to now. Ah yes, I was still the girl Jack fell in love with. //wrists

So instead of throwing out stuff, I find myself keeping them all. Again and again and again. Someday, someday I'll learn to part with all these silly things.

Okay, off to rummage through more rubbish in my shelves!

1 week's worth of break

2011-01-31T13:45:00.000+08:00

COMs blog, visit and comment when you have nothing to do, kay?

So here's what's gonna happen.

Monday, which is now, today, xian zai:

✖ Prep work for the 1000 word essay
✖

Lost motivation to blog. Kthxbye.

He's always better.

2011-01-30T02:29:00.000+08:00

So I've completed my first COMsBlog entry. I thought I did really well, I thought I expressed my views and I thought I thought about every aspect. Until Jack commented on my entry...

He always manages to see the big picture, always able to link it to the more pressing issue. While I am always stuck on one level, sometimes I get lucky and get to 2 levels of analysis by chance. I always knew that Jack's really good in his writing, he has this ability to make everything sound so convincing through his writing, even though he's really just making things up. It's the way he writes.

I can still remember how he managed to pass GP with only 2 paragraphs written, and how he is always the only few who managed to pass GP when we were in the first year of school. I'm always stumped by his works, even though I know what to expect from him. I wished I had his ability.

The only subjects I was better at than he was, back in school was Math and Literature. For one, he can't do Math for even if his life depended on it. I would try to teach him, but nothing works. He doesn't know how to solve anything. His Math is probably stuck at primary 5? But secretly, I was pretty happy that I'm finally better at something compared to him. Hurhur. And as for Literature, I don't know why but he never seem to read past the literal words in the poems and the texts. Hence, he never could analyze anything. Not even if his life depended on it too. But he came around, and started to write nonsense again, and managed to pass Literature at A's. How I know its nonsense? Because he never read, understood, knew what the texts were about. He never got to deciphering a poem.

Leave me your writing skills when you leave for Bristol kay, Jack?

Luckiest Girl on Earth

2011-01-26T21:55:00.002+08:00

ARM PORN AND EYE FUCKING.

I think I just died and came back.

ESL407

2011-01-25T00:03:00.001+08:00

Stuck, for the longest time.

2011-01-23T23:47:00.002+08:00

2011-01-21T21:27:00.001+08:00

2011-01-21T00:40:00.002+08:00

3rd day of school

2011-01-19T23:04:00.003+08:00

There's this crazy weight upon my shoulders, like the entire universe is banking on me to succeed, the realization that this is probably my last shot, I have this insane need to not screw up this time, to not throw this chance away, to not fail this time, to prove I can be better than your sons and daughters, that I can do it when I set my mind to it. I need to prove to them, and more importantly I need to prove to myself. This is all killing me. :(

I don't show my insecurities, instead I act like a wild girl who doesn't give a fuck about anything. I'm cool. So now, everyone thinks that I'm this crazy girl who don't give two hoots, everything I do seems like a joke to them, everything I attempt is out of fun to them, but no one really knows how fucking bad I want this.

Honestly, this is what I am lately. I'm not happy, really. Well, yeah when I laugh, that's genuine. Doesn't mean I'm happy, right? I think I'm going through this phrase whereby I know I screwed up way too many times. Taking everything for granted, like fuck yes I deserved it. But really, I should have been thankful that I still have chances.

Here's what we would sound like;

Chance: Hi, I'm here. Grab me and go be famous.

Me: Lol, are you serious? Fuck off.

Chance: Hey, remember me? I'm back, come with me, we'll earn big bucks together.

Me: What shit? Fuck off.

Chance: K, I'm still here. Do whatever you want with me.

Me: *kicks him in the fucking butt and roflmao-ed.

Chanc... ah, you should have gotten an idea of what our relationship was like. *shrugs.

When I knew I couldn't leave for Queensland, I was devastated. I keep wondering why they didn't think I deserved that shot, why is my education not worth their investment, why the fuck are they scrimping on their girl. Then I realised it was because I didn't give them anything to believe in. Everything was a game to me, why so serious? Right? No. Because if I'm not serious this time, I'm done for.

Communications, is it really the right major for me? Can I really pull it off, and excel? I feel insanely stressed, like choking damn bad stress. I think I cry secretly, but I didn't let me know.

I think I should just head to bed now.

The Beginning.

2011-01-17T22:42:00.000+08:00

So, today was my first day back at school. It was all good until we had to write something for ESL407. That's gotta be my first essay in the last 12/13 months? My head was totally blocked for a good 5, 10 minutes. All the brain juice trying to fish out whatever information that was left behind from MI. It was like every little vessel was rushing out a puny door and everyone got stuck. Then, little by little (Oasis started playing at the back of my head, lol) pieces of information came back. Strong intro, point, example, explanation, point, example, explanation, BIG BANG ending. Sadly, there wasn't enough time, just when my engine started roaring, the race has ended. Ah wells, better luck next time!

I'm dead beat, but my head is still thinking about what bag I'd bring, what top I'd wear, and with what bottoms, what accessories I should put on and what footwear should I put on. Maybe I should just go to school in top, shorts, slippers. But then again, top, shorts and slippers are lame. They should just have uniforms. oafhq@##@$@28oegdfnkvxc.

Tumblr

2011-01-16T15:27:00.000+08:00

45 things a girl wants for but wont ask for.

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING ..
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.

24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.

35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.

You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love.

The Book of Tomorrow

2011-01-16T01:32:00.001+08:00

"I was watching a bluebottle yesterday. In an effort to escape the living room, he kept flying against the window, hitting his head against the glass over and over. Then he stopped launching himself at it like a missile and stuck to one little windowpane, buzzing about like he was having a panic attack. It was frustrating to watch, especially because if he'd just flown up a little bit higher towards the top of the window, he'd have been free. But he just kept doing the same thing over and over again. I could imagine his frustration of being able to see the trees, the flowers, the sky, yet not being able to get to them. I tried to help him a few times, to guide him towards the open window, but he flew away from me around the room. He'd eventually come back to the same window and I could almost hear him: 'Well, this is the way I came in...'

I wonder if my watching him from the chair is what it's like to be God, if there's a God. He sits back and sees the big picture, just as I could see that if the bluebottle moved up the window to the top, then he'd be free. He wasn't really trapped at all, he was just looking in the wrong place."

-Cecelia Ahern

Kinship.

2011-01-15T17:07:00.002+08:00

I love my grandparents and cousins, to death. :)

When was the last time you spent time with your T.V?

2011-01-14T10:26:00.000+08:00

Damn right.

I don't think I spend a lot of time in front of the t.v anymore. The last time was probably when the internet connection was screwy. I feel like my 46 inches flat screen T.V, is a waste of money. I don't even know if it is plasma or whatever the other option is. I get my daily dose of dramas online. (Comments asking where will be ignored, lol.)

I used to be quite an addict of Singapore productions, until I was introduced to the US tv. The stark contrast made me realised that Singapore productions are a far-cry from what the States have to offer. What do I watch you may ask, here's my current list:

Gossip Girl
How I Met Your Mother
The Big Bang Theory
90210
The Vampire Diaries
Nikita

The shows have to have really bitchy storyline, crazy hot actors/actresses with a insanely charming characters, or they just have to really funny. I could go on and on and then sidetrack but I'd much rather tell you about my mother.

So, there are more interesting TV out there, say Starhub TV and MIO TV which airs HongKong dramas, US TV and whatever else they have. Unfortunately, subscription fees apply. And for those who knows where they may get it for no costs at all are reluctant to subscribe to these medias. My mom is one such person. She gets her dramas from Tudou and Video4asians. I can't help but to think that the latter is some pornography site every time I mention it. Lol.

Youtube totally killed the television. I'm a Youtube addict, I spend most of my free time on Youtube. You probably spend a substantial amount of time on Youtube too. Tutorials are widely available there, cooking, doing up your hair, your makeup, dismantling your phone, how to use Photoshop, paper origamis, kissing, flirting, you name it.

Who needs the TV anymore? :/

2011-01-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

♥

Buffalo

2011-01-12T21:26:00.000+08:00

Hi there, I guess this is you and me. ❤

Orientation was awesome, OGmates are awesome, OGLs are ahmazinggg. School starts on Monday and I have a bad throat. Kthxbye.

This marks the end of my frivolous year.

2011-01-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

So this is real. School's starting. Orientation is tomorrow. My year has ended. Now everything starts again.

This is also the first time in 4 years that I'm going to school without Jack. I have been pretty psyched about going back to school for the last few months. I even bought pens and markers and files and paper and pencil boxes - I have 2 large pencil cases because I had too many pens and markers, they won't fit into one nicely.

But recently, I have been loathing the 11th of January. With school starting, that means I can't sleep late, I can't do nothing in the day, I can't decide to meet Jack on his sudden nights out, I can't sleep the day away anymore. It feels like someone snatched away my freedom to do things like these. Probably the future me who will not be satisfied to just make ends meet.

How does it feel to have to choose what clothes to wear to school before sleeping everyday? All I had to do in the past was to just put on my uniform and scoot off to school. And, what is it like to have to start school all over again, with no friends on the first day? I forgot how that feels like.

So this is where I start, on my own. Without Jack by my side. And this is just the beginning. There's still UK.

5 years ago.

2011-01-05T00:13:00.000+08:00

This was me, 5 years ago. 2006, year 1, Toh Tuck campus.

This is me, 5 years later. Rounded and fairer.

Good change?

Skinnier would be better though. LOL.

Out of the norm

2011-01-03T22:51:00.002+08:00

I haven't done a lot in 2010, honestly. Some would say I've wasted 2010 doing nothing. Here's what happened:

Got a job, quit a job, got a job, quit a job. Ironically, job referred to the only job I had.

Stayed at Jack's, stayed at home, stayed at Jack's, stayed at home. I lived for the weekends.

Turned 21, and flew to Hong Kong the next day. No big ass party nor made a fuss about it.

6th Grandaunt passed away, was more devastating than I thought it would be to me.

Christmas was less than extravagant, looks like the spirit of Christmas dwindles every year.

So,

3rd day of the new year, my pudding passed on.

Dug a grave and buried a carcass and cried.

Other times I would tell you "Why make resolutions when you can't keep them?" This time, I'm making them, and keeping them. It could be because I'm 21 going on 22, it's time to make a good impression and stick to it. Maybe this epiphany struck a tad too late. At least I'm trying to do some shit. So bite me.

✔ I am going to be a nerd and do well in school.

✔ I am going to torture myself and shed the extra flesh.

✔ I am going to start saving substantial amount of money.

✔ I am not going to commit to anymore pets until I learn to let go.

And I pray that 2011 will not let me down, nor will I.

Our little pudding,

2011-01-03T04:16:00.000+08:00

we'll miss you pudding.

Thank you for bringing so much joy and smiles to us. You'll always be in our hearts.

I love you.

I hope there's lots of ikan bilis and sweet treats in hamster heaven.

After 20 months;

2011-01-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

It looks like my little pudding's time is almost up. ):

I came home after 2 days at Jack's, and little dugong was just lying in a corner with his eyes shut and a little red. I thought he was sleeping, like every other time. So I blew at him and tried to tempt him with food. Still, he laid there, lifeless, just breathing. I nudged him, and he didn't retaliate or move at all really.

I dropped his favorite grape right beside him, he sniffed it but didn't move to reach it. As I type these words, he's just lying in a corner, breathing lifelessly. I've covered him in blankets of tissue in hope that it will give him warmth and comfort. I've read online that some hamsters do linger when they are going. I just hope it isn't long, or I'll have to bring him to a vet to put him to sleep.

20 months is equivalent to 80 human years.

I'm terribly bad with death, I don't know how to handle it, I don't know what to feel, I can only cry. I wish Jack is here with me, and when dugong goes to hamster heaven. I feel so helpless seeing dugong lying there. I dare not touch him, much less lift him up in my hands to give him warmth. I don't know how I'm going to transfer him to a transport unit so I can bring him to a vet. I don't know how I am going to lift him up to bury him if he goes away. I don't know where to bury him.

I don't know what to do, really. =/

The world doesn't stop for anyone.

2010-12-21T07:49:00.001+08:00

Well a rather close relative just passed, and here I am at 7:43am, waiting for mother to be here to prepare for the wake. I'm not early, she's late. So I'm just sitting downstairs, watching the world getting busy.

Life goes on, the wind still blows. The world doesn't stop and stare at you grieve or anything. If you stop, you lose out and that's that.

This is probably the first time I've sat down outside so early in the morning. It does feel good actually, to just feel the wind and the calmness of the morning. No wonder the old folks enjoy it so much.

K, mother's here now. Bye.

{from the iPad}

Saturday.

2010-12-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

I may have left school, may have forgotten how to play it properly, may have gotten very unfit. But the joy it brings cannot be replaced, I think I will always love volleyball. And my very awesome team. ♥

2010-12-19T23:37:00.001+08:00

I can't wait to leave this place.

OH AND IT'S FRIDAY!

2010-12-17T06:38:00.000+08:00

Damon, Sheldon and Jack. ♥

Inspiration.

2010-12-17T06:36:00.000+08:00

I wanna stick decals like this on my wall too! But my wall is grainy to touch, not the usual smooth ones you'll find in new houses. ): The decals won't stick! Maybe I should spend my free time sandpapering my wall so that it becomes smooth. Hahahahaha.

And I need a bed frame, something glamourous like that. I think I will buy it with my next pay cheque. And a side table/drawer. And the lights, my old one burnt out.

Urgh, I just want a new room in a new house!

@#$!$%@KTJIAHVAISERUQ*Wuasdvao8druyge80arg

I am awesome.

2010-12-17T05:09:00.000+08:00

Finally, after much research and effort, I have an awesome Facebook profile. Not that I care much but it's cooler than all your loser profiles. :D

2010-12-13T05:08:00.000+08:00

Hi, I can haz X'mas dress. (:

Trying my utmost to fit perfectly into it.

And I've found a perfect present for Melissa already, see you at church!

“The violets explode inside me

When I meet your eyes

Then I’m spinning and I’m diving

Like a cloud of starlings.

Darling, is this love?”

— Starlings, by Elbow

imy baby.

Friday.

2010-12-03T16:19:00.001+08:00

I shall not lie, I woke up and realised it's Friday. Jumped outta bed and started downloading it.

Dearest Jack,

2010-12-03T15:48:00.002+08:00

With all my heart, Nicole.

December.

2010-12-02T21:22:00.001+08:00

You have no idea how much I want to go on a holiday with Jack.

I can't wait for Christmas to come, I'm already in the crazy holiday, Christmas-y mood. Listening to Christmas carols and writing my Christmas cards. My favorite time of the year is finally here! I just wish that Jack and I can go away on a holiday, just for a few days, spend more than a weekend together. It's been a long time since we've spent more than a weekend together, I miss him so bad. ):

On the other hand, I've stopped working as a salesgirl and I've realized that I have more time to myself - I have time to read my book, watch T.V, eat my ice cream slowly, wake and sleep whenever I want, snuggle in bed when it's pouring outside, and time to write about what's happening in my life.

I'm not saying that if I go to work, I can't do all these. But work at where I used to be sucked the life outta me, I reach home exhausted and lifeless, close my eyes and the next thing I know, I have to pull myself outta bed to go to work. That's not what I want. And I've less than a month's time before school starts anyway.

I'd really want to spend one Christmas away from home, in an awesome winter-wonderland someday.

2010-11-23T15:02:00.000+08:00

Mel's wordpress (:

i barely have time to tumblr anymore, but Mel's awesome cos she tumblrs and when I read her blog, I reblog her. LOL.

Old Phone.

2010-11-23T01:32:00.002+08:00

I was going through my old phone - the very first phone I had when I got together with Jack, which dates back to about 4 years ago. I had to delete my data in there cos' I'm passing it to my mom to use as a spare phone. (Some old Sony Ericssons slide up phone, it was the coolest during its reign.)

I was still a kid who had no money and back then, Camera and Mp3 player was still on a wish-list that seemed unattainable. The phone was all I got, and it was my treasure. I bedazzled it with red crystals in flower shapes at the back. The phone was uniquely mine. It was awesome, or at least until Jack got this phone with a higher megapixel camera, I can't remember what its called now. Motorola V3 or something, a flip phone with a what-was-considered-awesome-during-that-time cam-whoring front cam.

Anyways, my Sony Ericssons phone captured our very first memories. All the good times and bad times, oh yeah, even the bad times I swear. I had mixed emotions while looking through them, I realized that we've come a long way to where we are now. We were different from 4 years ago if you were to compare us now and us then. I wouldn't say that we've matured a lot, nor would I say that we've changed to become another person. Part of who we were then still follows us, and it will follow us no matter where we go or who we've become. Part of us still loves each other very, very much, and some other irritating parts of us hates each other very much too, sometimes.

I don't know if I'm still making sense, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say because if you're reading this, and if you're who I know reads this space, you're probably in a relationship that's at least 4 years long (and counting of course). And I'm sure that when you look at old pictures and videos - if you have them - you'd feel exactly the same way. You can't put it entirely into words, you can only try your very best to describe it to another person. But you'll feel it, and you'll know it.

Boy, it sure brought back lotsa memories through the pictures, videos and MMSes. (Yes, we MMSed in the past, stfu.) Love ya TanJackLong ♥

P.S: I still have that photo that I took in your OLD ROOM with you doing something you've came to regret. ;P

2010-11-12T02:10:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Uncle Ben.

That's why.

2010-11-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

Jackkk.

2010-11-09T11:48:00.001+08:00

Hi, both the mail client and web mail failed me because they didn't allow me to attach photos. So here it is!

I like the last 2 better. Let me know k love! :)

{from the iPad}

Location:On the train.

Hype.

2010-11-07T22:22:00.002+08:00

you.

2010-10-22T17:13:00.002+08:00

I love you, the love of my life

I need you, our love is right

I've found the one that my soul loves

No other love means so much

Could I have this dance?

2010-10-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

I have become fairer, haven't I?

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner every night?
When we're together, it feels so right.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

I'll always remember that magic moment,
When I held you close to me.
'Cause we moved together, I knew forever,
You're all I'll ever need

Friday is here, again!

2010-10-15T03:23:00.001+08:00

I don't know if work has been fun or annoying. Well, I like work because I've a new eye-candy, and it's not really a secret and I don't give a fuck. Lol. And I hate work because some certain people really pisses me off ttm. You have no idea how much I wanna punch his face into a pulp.

I have a list of things I wanna accomplish before... Well, accomplish. So many things, too little time. :/

Gon' sleep nao, kthxbye.
{from the iPad}

Updates; though sometimes I wonder to myself, why bother?

2010-10-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

Apple's 20th at Astons and then we moved the party to MINDS cafe at Princep. It was nice to see them girls again, after so long. They never fail to crack me up. (:

Pastel coloured nails, inspired by the pastel colours of the iphone 4's cases we sell at the shop. So pretty, share the love with Blackberry please. Lol.

Photo frames are expensive, if I were to frame these up, the amount I'd spent on frames would have killed me. So I decided to just stick them up without the frames, not too shabby eh?

Kthxbye.

I wanna leave, on a plane, with you.

2010-10-08T02:20:00.000+08:00

I need a holiday, with you.

It's Friday, and I've been waiting forever for Fridays.

Recreate copycats

2010-09-27T14:30:00.001+08:00

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if I'm wrong, then it must really be mutherfucking uncanny coincidence, which will then render me at a loss for words. I don't want to be too explicit, because when you're not mirroring us, I really like being your friend. So I'll try to be as discreet as I possibly can.

How is it possible for the many coincidence that prevailed? I shall cut the crap about the superficial stuff like the things we own, but to see such uncanny coincidence in areas such as vocation and fields of study? I must say you prolly really look up to my boyf to follow his decisions, like he's the Alpha-male, so he says.

Although this barely annoys Jack enough to complain, it irritates me ttm. It's like you're both living in our shadows. I'm just a little away from the edge, from blasting into your face about originality.

Either that or airforce and law is a popular combination.

So much for being discreet, lawl.

Drum rolls and spotlights flashing.

2010-09-22T15:43:00.000+08:00

I've always liked playing make believe.

Woke up to the sound of raindrops falling, and then it got worst, crazy drum rolls and spotlights flashing. I never liked thunder and lightning, it scares me and makes my heart jump out from my mouth. As I speak, thunder roars startle me. Stormy days like these, i hate. I just like it to drizzle for a couple of hours, maybe pour a little, not hippos and dinos of course!

I wish you were here with me to snuggle in bed on this wet wet day, honey. imy.

Dramamama

2010-09-21T15:17:00.000+08:00

This is so adorable.

I'm so happy all my shows have returned this month! Crazy pirating and watching and smiling and crying and midnight and no need to sleep and I'm going to buy lunch now. Kthxbye.

tjl

2010-09-17T23:17:00.002+08:00

We are crazy and in love.

2010-09-17T00:26:00.001+08:00

(there's always this gap above my photo when I post from here)

This is us, about a year back.

I like how I still get butterflies in my tummy when I spot Jack from far, and how I have the crazy urge to run up to him and fling a hug at him. We disagree from time to time, but we'll always make up in the end.

NS has made us better, stay-in vocation makes him miss me more. Teehee. I could go on and on, and it'll only still mean I love you Jack. :)

;on the iPad.

Hi Stranger.

2010-09-16T08:26:00.000+08:00

I got your postcard!

Only after friends abroad sent back postcards, that I realize Singapore has the ugliest/weirdest stamps ever. Examples:

Do we have a nice classic stamp?

0824 now, going to meet Xinya at 0900 for a swim. I just downed a big breakfast, I'm going to die of stitches and bloated-ness, not to mention embarrassment due to my big fat tummy. ):

imy.

Leftover chocolate bars?

2010-09-15T21:18:00.000+08:00

I had some left over chocolate bars, so I decided to turn those 85% dark chocolate into a crazy, seductive chocolate ganarsh. Drizzled it over 2 slices of Sarah Lee all-butter pound cakes and it's mad delicious. I love chocolate. (:

Oozing madness.

2010-09-15T20:03:00.000+08:00

Molten chocolate lava cake

After an hour or so of hard work, here's my prize. It's a pity the chocolate I used was a tad too bitter, I'm not too fond of bitter stuff. (Note to self: Remember to use 65% instead of 85% the next time) Otherwise, this cake is a total success!

I was so afraid that the chocolate in the middle would cook with the outside of the cake, cos' when I toothpick-tested it, the toothpick came out clean! I was so relieved when the chocolate flowed out when I cut it open.

I should share the recipe, shouldn't I? Teehee.

Ingredients:

2 large eggs

2 large yolks

5 tbs butter

3 tbs sugar

3.5 oz dark chocolate (65% for bittersweet, 75/85% if you like bitter stuff)

3 tbs flour

4 tsp high-quality cocoa powder (I used Hershey's)

Tiny pinch of salt

1/8 tsp vanilla extract (Could do with a tad bit more vanilla)

Directions:

Generously butter 4 5.5oz ceramic cups/bowls, sit that in a casserole dish and set aside. (I used a small souffle glass bowl)
Combine the eggs and yolks in a large bowl, add the sugar and whisk until it's light and foamy, lemony in color.
Place the butter in a separate (microwavable) bowl and break in the dark chocolate. (3.5oz is the standard 100g chocolate bar) Melt that in the microwave on low for about 5 seconds, on defrost mode. Stir the mixture until it comes together to form a nice chocolatey color.
Combine the chocolate mixture with the egg mixture and whisk. Sieve in the cocoa powder and flour. Whisk it altogether.
Pour the mixture into your ceramic/glass bowl, and tap it down to remove air bubbles.
Plastic wrap it and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
Pour hot water into the casserole dish, halfway up the ceramic/glass bowl/cup.
Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees F (218 degrees C) and bake for 15-17 minutes depending on the size of your cup/bowl. (Once it is cake-y on the top, it should be done)
Allow that to cool for 15 minutes before serving.

If I can do it, you can prolly do a better job. :)

As happy as a lark.

2010-09-14T21:03:00.001+08:00

Jack's 8-5 temporary posting makes me very happy! Dinner is never boring and alone anymore, as all good things come to an end, we're left with 2 such days. I'm going to dread his stay-in posting so much after this.

Frozen champagne grapes now! Bye.

Location:Woodlands Drive 73,Singapore,Singapore

Grow old with you.

2010-09-14T02:42:00.001+08:00

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

Oh all I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you

Kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you

Feed you

Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink

I could be the man who grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you

Who do you, who do you think you are?

2010-09-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

I really like this hobo.

This hobo is USD$18, but it cost USD$40 to ship it over. In what madness is this? I'm so depressed now, I hope this hobo comes to Singapore's F21 soon. I like how it opens up, and I like how it's so hobo-ish. The lady looks pretty freakish though, I want a hobo like this! Singapore's F21 suck balls. Rawrr!

And on the 10th of September 2010, I bought my sports shoe.

It marks the start of an arduous journey for me. It's not all bad, I had laksa at Queensway and went to aeroporto to fetch mom, which means new clothes from Taiwan! I feel that the shop that sells laksa at Queensway needs to provide bigger portions of laksa, NOT ENOUGH LA.

Sunday is baking day at Grans'.

Baked muffins and shortbreads with Joelle! Well, could be better but it taste awesome despite the texture of the muffins and the shortbreads! Better luck next time!

Jack keeps rambling on and on, talking to himself, then talking to me, then starts talking to himself again. It's pissing me off to no end. He keeps saying that he's just telling me, but the way he says it is like omfg, "freedom" of choice. When I've set my mind on doing something, he'll provide a suggestion. When I have decided on a school, on the brim of enrolling, he pops out another school and keeps reading aloud all the details and fees and rankings and whatnot. He keeps doing that, and he's subconsciously making me go his way. I can illustrate this, here:

This post will so start a fight.

(He haven't read this and he started calling me a fucking bitch, bastard.)

Tube Lovin'

2010-09-11T09:54:00.002+08:00

I love this ruche tube dress, GBP$39, wants!

Tube Lovin' by szekaryin featuring a tube cocktail dress

I see, I want.

2010-09-11T09:15:00.001+08:00

I see, I want. by szekaryin featuring topshop shorts

Dear friends,

2010-09-11T08:32:00.002+08:00

thank you for making my readership pie chart so colourful.

Gerlaine,

Mel

and you from the United States, whoever you are, leave a comment, I wanna know!

♡

Letters to Juliet

2010-09-10T03:54:00.000+08:00

I adore films like these, yes I am a hopeless romantic, you can't blame me for that. Films like these makes me tear and smile at the same time, and it makes me reflect on everything. It's kinda hard to say what I'm reflecting on, but all I can say is this film is an apt portrayal of the saying: If you don't treat your girl right, some other guy will. And you can't blame her for taking flight.

I feel overwhelmed with emotions right now, yes, right now, at 0345. I'm just random like that.

Constant fear

2010-09-09T17:39:00.000+08:00

I always panic when I see hammo lying in his home like that, because he's so old now, I keep thinking he dropped dead. And every time I will knock on the glass/poke him/shake his food bowl to get a reaction from him, and every time he will jump right up and scurry over to me. What a relief.

It's not funny Dugong, don't ever do that again. ):

I feel you.

2010-09-09T17:35:00.001+08:00

My owl stuff, oohh.

Polaroids are crazy love.

Dinner at FEP.

And shimmery hammy being a bummy.

Hoots?

2010-09-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

This is so adorable! I want this!

I'm owls crazy now, how come I didn't realised before that owls are so kute? Anyways, Mom is in Taiwan and we skyped so she could show me what she bought (for me) and I'm totally loving most of the dresses and tops she bought! Damn, if only I'm over in Taiwan now, I'd be so busy shopping and eating.

Should I be going back to Epicentre to work PT? PT's pay is pretty good and I really do have nothing to do. We'll know my decision at 4pm.

And I thought after I change the layout of this site, I can have bigger pictures on here. The "extra large" size is just a little too big for the box! But this change looks really neat, and I'm liking it. So it stays.

Oh, we went shopping about a few days back and got some cool stuff. I have pictures, but I'll have to post it later when I get home. Jack's iMac is sacred and no funny business is allowed, or I'll get a real thrashing from him.

Okay, bye.

I love daisies.

2010-09-07T00:03:00.001+08:00

I'll fall in love with the man who'll bring me these flowers.

2010-09-06T22:26:00.001+08:00

niceee.

Where's that boy who used to cycle to my house just to eat with me?

2010-09-06T14:04:00.000+08:00

Once again,

2010-09-06T13:27:00.000+08:00

my temper got the better of me.

Dear life,

2010-09-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

please stop fucking with me.

2010-09-05T15:02:00.001+08:00

Time out.

You think you're very humorous.

2010-09-01T14:55:00.001+08:00

I hate it when people strike an annoying conversation starter on msn. This among many other lame guys, for example:

I'm sad to say that he has and will always be this childish.

Why can't these guys just say hello, or hey? Why must they come up with such annoying conversation starters? I find guys like these really annoying ttm. I like guys who are straight forward, and who the hell does things like that anyways?

Would you continue talking to this person after the 2nd line in the conversation above? I wouldn't, no way in hell. I don't need a miracle and even if I did, no fucking product is gonna bring miracle. It's not even funny as a joke. Omg.

Well, for the rest of the whoever who reads here, keep a look out for more stupid conversation starters.

P.S/ Jack has night out later. (:

Sillybandz craze!

2010-09-01T14:35:00.001+08:00

I'm so gonna get these bandzzzz.

Piggy rock candies!

2010-08-31T21:24:00.001+08:00

So gonna get this for Jack. :D

Wear your favourite book.

2010-08-31T16:48:00.000+08:00

Do you have this one book that you read cover from cover, over and over again? Now you can wear it! I have no idea how the colours in between came about. If this ring below is made out of the little crater we see in the picture, where did the blue come from? Nonetheless, this is so awesome!

"Jeremy May of LITTLEFLY has captured the beauty of paper via a unique laminating process. He makes jewelry out of books by laminating hundreds sheets of paper together. The paper is selected and carefully removed from a book, and the jewellery re-inserted in the excavated space. Each piece is impossible to replicate, and is unique to the wearer. Every thought about turning your favorite book into a ring?"

LittleFly.co.uk

How cool is that? (:

One more time.

2010-08-31T00:12:00.002+08:00

Lol, don't ask.

New skill

2010-08-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

Hello, I was trying to teach myself some photoshop skills and this is what I've ended up after an hour of hard work:

My crazy love.

Oh, and I'm totally rocking it. Ciao!

Four.

2010-08-29T17:33:00.001+08:00

We're turning 4 at the strike of midnight. ily Hun. :)

You feel a disturbance in the force...

2010-08-26T06:08:00.001+08:00

Adium's developer joke scared the shit outta me at 4am. How freaky is this when it's 4am and you're alone in your dark room? You feel a disturbance in the force...

When I saw this message, I freaked out and thought that Mel did that to me. I went into shock and shuddered a dozen times before I ran outta my room and straight into my brother's room. Thank all the heavens and all the gods of all religion that he's at home/not sleeping.

After allowing him time to laugh at me, and post it on his Facebook page, and hung a rosary in my room then we finally decided to go downstairs for supper/munch. And when we came back, it happened again! Now with brother in the room with me.

I remembered Google, so I googled "disturbance in the force" and got Star Wars quotes. And then I added "adium" to the search. And found out that it's a freaking developer's joke.

Thanks Adium. Fuck you very much. -.-

Marathon

2010-08-25T17:52:00.000+08:00

Finally found an app on the iPad for blogger which allows me to upload photos and text, costs $2.99 though and this being Jack's iTunes account, Jack paid for it. And he will realise when he reads this paragraph. ;p

And omg, I dreamt that my tutee's father had no money to pay me! Worst nightmare ever please! I've been having the weirdest dreams lately, and it scares me terribly.

Reminder: must leave house when show ends.

I love the picture above, it aptly depicts the saying of a picture paints a thousand words. And prolly because my journey has just began, or rather will begin in January 2011. So many words I want to say, and so many plans I wish would go my way. But 20 odd years here have taught me that nothing really goes my way, possibly the other few million people never had their way either.

40 more minutes to tuition.

Til' the next weekend.

2010-08-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME J.CO DONUTS ARE THAT YUMMY!

Spent Jack's long weekend rushing to and fro Bugis and Wheelock to get our new toys.

Here's my little furball. <3

Gorgeous.

2010-08-24T00:45:00.000+08:00

I love her eyes, and her hair makes me want bangs again.

Brightens up my day.

2010-08-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

Facebook is such a darling. Carved a smile on my face. :D

2010-08-22T04:33:00.002+08:00

I saw this bag I really like and I really want it. But I think I will regret buying it if I do buy it.

Life overseas.

2010-08-21T03:55:00.000+08:00

If you've been reading, you'd probably know that I've been wanting to go overseas to further my studies. And Australia was my choice, and I would have gone if I could. But, i doubt i'll be able to survive over there.

I can't survive with slow/no internet. (yes, I take technology for granted, and I rely a lot on the cyber world to keep me entertained.) And from what I've gathered, internet is limited and expensive, not just in Australia. As appose to Singapore's reasonably priced plans for unlimited speed, or whatever you'd call it in tech terms.

Since secondary school, we've all pretty much been texting and calling a lot on our mobile phones ya? Mobile plans are also pricey abroad, and again, limited talk time and data usage. Even though we've been cussing and swearing at Singtel, M1 and/or Starhub, the amount we pay is still what we can manage.

I guess it's only right to say that the reason I think these are too expensive and have become what I'd call luxury items if I'm abroad is because the cost of living is different at home and abroad. As much as I really want to leave Singapore in the near future, I do believe that Singapore is an affordable place to live in. (Circumstances will change if I manage to get a stable job with a decent income, only then will the above mentioned "problem" be solved.)

Despite all that, I still can't wait to leave. Lol.

Something new everyday.

2010-08-19T02:35:00.000+08:00

Well, to date we've seen many type of museums; historical, toys, wax and many more. In Iceland, there's an unique museum and you'll never guess what objects are stored and exhibited! Okay, maybe you should guess, just so you'll be more surprised when you find out what this special museum stores.

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The Icelandic Phallological Museum (click)

is devoted entirely to collecting penis specimens from all sorts of land and sea mammals.

The Icelandic Phallological Museum contains a collection of two hundred and nine penises and penile parts belonging to almost all the land and sea mammals that can be found in Iceland. Visitors to the museum will encounter fifty five specimens belonging to sixteen different kinds of whale, one specimen taken from a rogue polar bear, thirty-six specimens belonging to seven different kinds of seal and walrus, and one hundred and fifteen specimens originating from twenty different kinds of land mammal: all in all, a total of two hundred and nine specimens belonging to forty six different kinds of mammal. It should be noted that the museum has also been fortunate enough to receive legally-certified gift tokens for four specimens belonging to Homo Sapiens. Besides there are some twenty-three folklore specimens and forty foreign ones. Altogether the collection contains 272 specimens from 92 different species of animals.

Is that weird or what? Well, it's prolly the only museum in the world to store and exhibit a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammal found in a single country.

Like I said, we learn something new everyday!

P.S: Here's more articles if you're psychotic and want to know more.
http://www.suite101.com/content/the-icelandic-phallological-museum-a45437
http://travel.spotcoolstuff.com/unusual-museums/iceland/phallological-museum
And Google Images will never fail when you need pictures - CLICK (link's too long)

Go on, click it, no one will know if you clicked or not. No one, but me! Just kidding.

Everyday is a lazy day.

2010-08-18T18:34:00.000+08:00

Crazy love for now.

Polaroid frenzy at 2am.

His favorite spot during the day.

Okay, tuition later. Weekends come fast please.

0512

2010-08-17T05:12:00.001+08:00

Goodnight world. :)

Leap Year, GMH.

2010-08-16T06:13:00.002+08:00

Why so handsome and hot and charming and perfect?

The way you take my hand is just so sweet,

And that crooked smile of yours,

It knocks me off my feet.

♥♥♥

May you never steal, lie or cheat

But if you must steal, steal away my sorrows

If you must lie, lie beside me all the days of my life.

And if you must cheat, cheat death.

Because I could not live a single day

without you

-Leap Year

Her crave satiated.

2010-08-16T01:49:00.001+08:00

The queue at Ichiban is always so long, but I love dining there.

Lover.

"What Starcraft sucks, huh?"

My salmon meal.

I absolutely love that sauce there, it's so... for the lack of a better word, delicious.

I'm sorry retina, but it's just too good to turn away. I'll find another way to make you better.

Oh, look!

Raw salmon on Jack's platter means more salmon for me. :D

Jack's cheesy chicken chop, delightfully yummy.

And then we walked right into Stereo at Causeway Point, we were browsing initially. But... I happened to chance upon one that I liked in months. So Jack bought them for me, as... 21st present right love?

Okay, my S90 saw some action again, at long last.

Kthxbye.

Dairy Lunch & Dinner

2010-08-14T18:53:00.002+08:00

Definitely not for the lactose intolerant.

Teehee.